Living the Journey

The future: bleak, empty, purposeless, meaningless. That is how I felt. All life held for me was questions. What will I do? Where will I be? How do I know God’s will for my life? I was in a whirlpool, drifting round and round, powerless to get a grasp on a goal worth living for.

I tried many avenues to find meaning in life. As I began to depend on people for significance and worth, tension appeared in my relationships. I craved the things and events that looked as if they could provide fulfillment and peace. As each and every person, thing, and event failed my expectations, I watched stress take root and spring up in my life; deadly stresses of anger, guilt, lust, bitterness, greed, fear, and envy. Still, I had no goal I could thrust all my heart, soul, mind and strength into for the Lord.

“If a purpose is not worth dying for, that purpose is not worth living for.” What a powerfully true statement! I realized I needed to do some serious communicating with God, if I was to discover a life purpose worth dying for. To my parents and I, the teaching and time concentrating on the Lord at Journey to the Heart was needed.

Two months preceding my Journey, I read The Power of Personal Vows by Bill Gothard. As I read of the valuable benefits others have experienced by making predetermined decisions to do good and reject evil, the Lord laid it on my heart to make a specific vow. After consulting my parents, we agreed that a vow to God for an established period of single, undistracted service for the Lord was the next step for me to obey Christ’s command:

“And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it. For what is a man advantaged, if he gain the whole world, and lose himself, or be cast away?” (Luke 9:23-25).

It was not until the second day of my Journey that I orally made this  vow. We are told in Psalm 37:4-5, “Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the Lord: trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.” He did! I was delighting myself in Him the second day of my Journey, and that week He made His desires my desires! I committed my way to Him through that vow, trusting Him, and He brought it to pass:

Only a few hours after making my vow, the Lord revealed to me, through a very wise and Godly spiritual authority, His will for the next step of my life! God showed me specifically where to go and how to learn to teach His principles, character and commands to children. At first, I resisted. “No,” I thought, “do I have to serve You in that particular way?” Our Heavenly Father is so very patient and faithful!

During my time in the Northwoods, the Lord grew in me a burning desire to serve Him. He has made His desires my desires. He has given me such joy as I prepare to serve Him in the way He has directed!

~ Carmen
July 2009 Girls Journey

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On the Thursday of my Journey to the Heart we had a day of delighting in the Lord and I went out on the lake in a kayak by myself. I had finally worked up the courage to cry out to God to remove from my heart all of the wrong affections that were there.

It was a dark, dreary day, but at the moment I cried out I truly felt God’s peace quieting my soul. As I looked up, a bald eagle flew right over my head and the clouds parted. Beautiful, golden sunlight fell on me. It was as though God was saying, “My face is shining upon you, I will give you peace, I will give you the grace to overcome this.” And for the rest of the time that I was on the lake, I was underneath the sun whenever the clouds parted. A beautiful blue sky guided me back to shore.

I vowed to God that I would never play a video game again, listen to rock music, or look at pornography. It was so freeing! Even though I’ve already had a great love for the hymns of the faith, God has increased it much more. When we were singing them on the way to the Northwoods and together as a group they sounded so beautiful to me.

When we had the hour of prayer on Thursday, myself and the other two guys with whom I was praying ended up praying for three hours. To me, it felt like maybe half an hour at the most!!! Near the end, I felt as though  it was just God and I, Him looking down on me with His pleasure.

Throughout the week, as God revealed things I had between members of my family and myself, I called them, and felt load after load being lifted from my shoulders. I called my father, and asked his forgiveness for leaving him out of my life, and I told him I truly wanted a closer relationship with him. I asked both him and my mother forgiveness for having a bitter spirit toward them, my brother for having a prideful attitude toward him.

And come Saturday night, when we were all praying together, I sensed God’s presence in a way I never imagined possible! continue reading…

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My love for God was non-existent, I was living in secret sin, and I knew that what I was doing was wrong.

I tried as hard as I could to stop sinning but I was attempting to do it in my own strength. My intellect was on the throne of my life. I thought I could fight off the devil by myself.

While I was on the Journey, I heard Paul Washer speak about how being a Christian is not only praying a prayer but living for the Lord and seeking first His Kingdom. That really meant a lot to me. That is when I truly gave my whole life to the Lord and first saw Him working in my life. As a result, I made several vows not to do the things that I was doing while I was in sin. I asked God to take back the ground in my soul that I had surrendered to the devil by believing his lies.

It was after this complete surrender to the Lord that He became real to me and I experienced a filling of His Spirit. Since then the Lord has kept me far from the sins that I used to commit on a regular basis.

On the “day of delighting in the Lord” God’s Word spoke to me: “Seek first My Kingdom, follow My commands, and go and make disciples unto all nations.” During the hour of prayer God revealed more of Himself to me. I was loving it so much that I prayed for two hours and was an hour late for dinner! This was after we had been fasting the whole day.

While we were singing that night as a group, I had the awesome feeling of actually praising God through my singing.

In the past, reading the Bible has been a lot like eating dog food—it was not enjoyable at all! But now, after giving my life to the Lord on the Journey, I love to read the Bible like it is really God’s Word. And I can’t wait to see how the Lord is going to use me. Praise God!

~ Stephen
July 2009 Journey

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Since the Journey to the Heart, the Lord has taken me on a roller coaster through the desert. Although I confessed many things, and wanted to seek the Lord, my heart still felt dark and dry at times.

Before I went on the Journey I was addicted to worldly music. Whenever I would write or listen to a sensual song, thoughts and feelings would arise that were not honoring to God.

I was in the middle of recording one of my “not so wrong” songs when I received a call from Mr. Gothard’s office – they wanted me to help on an upcoming Journey! Even though my parents and others encouraged me to go, I knew I shouldn’t because of this unresolved issue. Due to procrastination I was not able to go on the Journey, but still had the chance to meet with Mr. Gothard. After discussing the situation, he challenged me to come to Headquarters and be cleansed by listening to the Word all day while serving on the lawn crew. With my parents approval, I started the month long trek.

It has been one of the best experiences of my life! Through various circumstances, testimonies and daily immersion in the Word, I came to the point of making a vow. After talking it over with my father, Mr. Gothard, and several others I stepped out on God and made the vow. “I will not willfully listen, perform or rehearse in my mind music that is worldly, sensual or not glorifying to God.”

By God’s grace this vow will glorify and honor Him. Another path leads from here, and where it leads I know not. But this one thing I do know – the Lord has lifted another burden from my shoulders and I will continue this journey with joy.

~ Tim
June 2008 Guys’ Journey

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