Living the Journey

Ever since my baptism last August, I had been striving to draw closer to God on a daily basis. Yet, at that point, I didn’t realize that I had allowed some affections to creep into my life and compete with my love for God. It wasn’t until this past September when I went on a Journey to the Heart that I was able to get alone with God and hear His voice as to what He had in mind for my life.

In Bill Gothard’s Basic Seminar, he describes a new perspective on fully dedicating your life to Christ. He uses the illustration of a room with everything inside representing the things that you do in your life. This might include each activity you have become involved in or every subject that you’ve mastered. In this illustration, when you become a new Christian and dedicate your “life” to Christ, it is like you are  inviting Him to come into the room and allowing Him the freedom to have control of all the aspects of your life. Let’s say there is a box in the room for each of your accomplishments. If there is something that you want to hold on to and don’t want you new Roommate to know about or take away, you might build a closet, put the box on the top shelf out of reach, and lock the door. Then, you really aren’t giving God everything because you are still withholding that one little box in your closet!

As I was searching my heart, trying to figure out if there was any particular area in my life that I had not yet surrendered to God, He revealed to me an area where I had allowed myself to be in control. At first, I was unwilling to give this up because it wasn’t all bad. Just some of it was, so the good outweighs the bad and makes it ok to live with, right? Wrong!

I argued back and forth with God about it, and finally agreed to give it all to Him. I was able to discover that God wants to be the center of my life, and I need to be willing to let Him be in control of all aspects of my life, including my future.  The Lord showed me that He is my fulfillment; He is all that I will ever need to be happy. He also revealed to me that now is the perfect time for me to focus on serving the Lord through my current responsibilities.

I Corinthians 7:34-35 says – “The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.”

These verses prompted me to rededicate myself to focus on serving the Lord rather than pleasing myself. That alone has been life-changing for me, and now I am able to fully trust God to care for everything I will ever need or want! As challenging as it was, after I completely surrendered everything to God, I was finally able to experience true peace in my spirit.

In closing, I will just share one of the verses that suck out to me during this time of my life: Psalm 126:2-3: “Then our mouth was filled with laughter and our tongue with joyful shouting; then they said among the nations, ‘The Lord has done great things for them.’ The Lord has done great things for us, and we are glad.” Yes, God has done an awesome work in my life, and I am very glad!

~ Grace
September 2009 Journey

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This past week concluded my second Journey to the Heart. God met me unexpectedly the first day. I suddenly became aware of what had been holding me back from fully experiencing God’s power! As a young child, I had been rejected/pushed away by my parents, and although they had confessed and repented of this many times, I had harbored a lot of bitterness towards them and many others who had hurt me deeply over the years.

When I was younger, there had also been a struggle between my parents in their marriage, which had caused me to cut off my spirit from them, to build up walls of defense, and to suffer asthma and nightmares from my fears. I had sought acceptance in other people and possessions, which had caused me to not only lack the trust I needed for my parents, but to hold back from fully trusting God.

The Breaking Point

As this realization dawned upon me, I broke down and wept on the floor where we had all knelt to pray in groups of 3 or 4. My team leader, sensing that God was doing a work in my heart, led me away to talk in private. Over the course of the next 2 hours, she helped me identify 30 lies I believed, 20 painful memories I was suffering from, and 5 different fears that were affecting my health.

That day my eyes were opened to the bondage that I had been in for so many years. I experienced a new freedom as I prayed asking God to take back the ground I had surrendered. I was able to fully forgive my offenders and to develop a new love for them, and a desire to serve and bless them!

Dying Leaves are More Beautiful

This amazing event set the stage for the rest of my Journey! I found that my heart was open to examination as I studied the different heart conditions. I was able to pray for others with a whole new love for them! I saw God use me to encourage and disciple many other girls throughout the time there, and to cry out to Him without fear of what others would think. There was a whole new awareness of His promptings, and the ability to hear His voice like never before! Most of all, I learned to understand the pain of others who were in similar bondage to what I had been in.

God showed me how to understand the hurts of another and to care for them! He broke me one night as I was spending time alone with Him under the stars. I wept for a girl I had known who was experiencing much more than I had ever experienced, but was held by the chains I had been in.

Throughout the week, as I observed the beauty of the colorful leaves on the trees, I was reminded continually by our team leader that the leaves were beautiful, yet they were dying! I saw that just as dying leaves are more beautiful than those that are alive, so we as believers are required to die to self and to be on fire for the Lord, in order to achieve the greatest beauty.
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On the Thursday of my Journey to the Heart we had a day of delighting in the Lord and I went out on the lake in a kayak by myself. I had finally worked up the courage to cry out to God to remove from my heart all of the wrong affections that were there.

It was a dark, dreary day, but at the moment I cried out I truly felt God’s peace quieting my soul. As I looked up, a bald eagle flew right over my head and the clouds parted. Beautiful, golden sunlight fell on me. It was as though God was saying, “My face is shining upon you, I will give you peace, I will give you the grace to overcome this.” And for the rest of the time that I was on the lake, I was underneath the sun whenever the clouds parted. A beautiful blue sky guided me back to shore.

I vowed to God that I would never play a video game again, listen to rock music, or look at pornography. It was so freeing! Even though I’ve already had a great love for the hymns of the faith, God has increased it much more. When we were singing them on the way to the Northwoods and together as a group they sounded so beautiful to me.

When we had the hour of prayer on Thursday, myself and the other two guys with whom I was praying ended up praying for three hours. To me, it felt like maybe half an hour at the most!!! Near the end, I felt as though  it was just God and I, Him looking down on me with His pleasure.

Throughout the week, as God revealed things I had between members of my family and myself, I called them, and felt load after load being lifted from my shoulders. I called my father, and asked his forgiveness for leaving him out of my life, and I told him I truly wanted a closer relationship with him. I asked both him and my mother forgiveness for having a bitter spirit toward them, my brother for having a prideful attitude toward him.

And come Saturday night, when we were all praying together, I sensed God’s presence in a way I never imagined possible! continue reading…

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As I look back over this Journey to the Heart I am amazed at how God met with each of us in a special way. I remember praying before the Journey that God would do a mighty work that none of us could ever orchestrate – that it would be clearly Christ’s power working in us by His Holy Spirit. He truly did answer that prayer.

God quickly drew our team together and every day there were profound insights shared that the Lord had given. One evening, a team member told how she had called home that day to confess something to her parents. That convicted the rest of us to make things right with our parents no matter how big or small the issue seemed to be. As we confessed our sins and yielded up competing affections and things we had held back from the Lord, He allowed us to focus on Him and to hear His still small voice.

Some of my fondest memories are the times of prayer we had as a team in one accord. As we cried out to God, He heard our prayers and answered in miraculous ways!

The times of laughter, singing, sharing, confessing, crying together, and examining our hearts were invaluable, but the time spent alone with the Lord and together bowed in His presence are what made the Journey for me.

God became very real and personal to us. We saw Him restore a marriage that at the beginning of our Journey was headed for divorce. He delivered a team member from an addiction, brought new love for family members, and made scripture come alive to us.

A few days into the Journey my physical strength was at an all time low due to lack of sleep and a health problem I’ve had for several years. Lack of energy had long become the focus of my daily life and I was always looking for answers and questioning why the Lord did not heal me. Now, I knew I needed God’s help to make it through this Journey.

I bowed my head and gave God unconditional control of my body and health, without expecting healing in return.

As the Journey continued, I was amazed at how little sleep I was getting and yet how inwardly refreshed I felt! God was giving me grace and strength for each day. I had been letting my health run my life, but now God was teaching me that He must have first place and that I needed to trust Him with my health no matter how I felt.

The Northwoods is a beautiful place to meet with the Lord. The messages we heard on the Journey and the counsel of the staff were a wonderful learning experience.

It is always humbling when God works in our hearts and uses us despite our failures and shortcomings. He heard our cries for brokenness and reminded us “Come, and let us return unto the Lord: for He hath torn, and He will heal us; He hath smitten, and He will bind us up” (Hosea 6:1).

~ Miranda
July 2009 Journey

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My love for God was non-existent, I was living in secret sin, and I knew that what I was doing was wrong.

I tried as hard as I could to stop sinning but I was attempting to do it in my own strength. My intellect was on the throne of my life. I thought I could fight off the devil by myself.

While I was on the Journey, I heard Paul Washer speak about how being a Christian is not only praying a prayer but living for the Lord and seeking first His Kingdom. That really meant a lot to me. That is when I truly gave my whole life to the Lord and first saw Him working in my life. As a result, I made several vows not to do the things that I was doing while I was in sin. I asked God to take back the ground in my soul that I had surrendered to the devil by believing his lies.

It was after this complete surrender to the Lord that He became real to me and I experienced a filling of His Spirit. Since then the Lord has kept me far from the sins that I used to commit on a regular basis.

On the “day of delighting in the Lord” God’s Word spoke to me: “Seek first My Kingdom, follow My commands, and go and make disciples unto all nations.” During the hour of prayer God revealed more of Himself to me. I was loving it so much that I prayed for two hours and was an hour late for dinner! This was after we had been fasting the whole day.

While we were singing that night as a group, I had the awesome feeling of actually praising God through my singing.

In the past, reading the Bible has been a lot like eating dog food—it was not enjoyable at all! But now, after giving my life to the Lord on the Journey, I love to read the Bible like it is really God’s Word. And I can’t wait to see how the Lord is going to use me. Praise God!

~ Stephen
July 2009 Journey

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The first evening of my Journey, I sat down with my Bible to read. The Psalm for that day was number 49 and God knew that was exactly the chapter that I needed.

In previous months I had been convicted that the greatest hindrance in my relationship with God was fear, especially the fear that my brothers might follow in my cousin’s corrupt footsteps, making similar mistakes and thereby sacrificing their wonderful God-given potential to do great things!

Because of that fear, I found myself reacting harshly to my brothers and having a very difficult time loving them. I had surrendered my fears to God and given my brothers to Him in prayer a number of times before, but it was still laying as a heavy burden on my heart.

As I began reading Psalm 49, it was as if I had were reading it for the first time. Portions of the chapter seem to leap off of the page and my eyes filled with tears. “Wherefore should I fear in the days of evil? None of them can by any means redeem his brother, nor give to God a ransom for him: (For the redemption of their soul is precious, and it ceaseth for ever:)… But God will redeem my soul from the power of the grave: for he shall receive me. Selah. Be not thou afraid…”

After this new reminder that He was so lovingly looking over those who are dear to me, I could again freely surrender all of my fears to Him, and trust Him with the future, because I know that He has a bigger purpose in mind than what I can see, and that He will work all things together for good!!

Since coming home, I have had a greater freedom to love my brothers and treat them in a Christ-like manner. I am truly thankful to God the eight younger brothers He has blessed me with, and through God’s grace, I am looking forward to continuing to improve my relationship with them!

~ Sarah
June 2008 Girls Journey

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