Living the Journey

On the Thursday of my Journey to the Heart we had a day of delighting in the Lord and I went out on the lake in a kayak by myself. I had finally worked up the courage to cry out to God to remove from my heart all of the wrong affections that were there.

It was a dark, dreary day, but at the moment I cried out I truly felt God’s peace quieting my soul. As I looked up, a bald eagle flew right over my head and the clouds parted. Beautiful, golden sunlight fell on me. It was as though God was saying, “My face is shining upon you, I will give you peace, I will give you the grace to overcome this.” And for the rest of the time that I was on the lake, I was underneath the sun whenever the clouds parted. A beautiful blue sky guided me back to shore.

I vowed to God that I would never play a video game again, listen to rock music, or look at pornography. It was so freeing! Even though I’ve already had a great love for the hymns of the faith, God has increased it much more. When we were singing them on the way to the Northwoods and together as a group they sounded so beautiful to me.

When we had the hour of prayer on Thursday, myself and the other two guys with whom I was praying ended up praying for three hours. To me, it felt like maybe half an hour at the most!!! Near the end, I felt as though  it was just God and I, Him looking down on me with His pleasure.

Throughout the week, as God revealed things I had between members of my family and myself, I called them, and felt load after load being lifted from my shoulders. I called my father, and asked his forgiveness for leaving him out of my life, and I told him I truly wanted a closer relationship with him. I asked both him and my mother forgiveness for having a bitter spirit toward them, my brother for having a prideful attitude toward him.

And come Saturday night, when we were all praying together, I sensed God’s presence in a way I never imagined possible! continue reading…

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The bondage began when I was 14 years old. I fell into looking at wrong magazines and wrong pictures on the computer. This greatly damaged my relationship with the Lord because my sinful desire for these things was competing with my love for Him. I tried and tried to live right but I was not able to overcome this secret addiction.

Two years later, in July of 2008, I was able to go on a Journey to the Heart. God spoke to me in a quite but amazing way. He told me that I needed to put my trust in Him and receive His grace instead of putting my trust in myself to be strong enough to overcome temptation. I realized that I needed to renounce the lies that I was believing, such as the lie that "I will never be able to overcome this sin." God showed me what a long-lasting relationship with Him was all about—it is about living in truth and walking by His side!

After renouncing Satan’s lies and openly confessing my sin, I have had a whole new sense of freedom. Now I am seeking God first with all of my heart and not letting the things of this world compete with my love for Christ!

~ Jordan
July 2008 Guys’ Journey

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Harboring inner rebellion and entertaining a secret relationship with a guy I knew my parents would never approve of, I made plans to move out the day I turned eighteen. Deep inside I knew what I was doing was not right and God would not bless me for this, but I stuffed it down for a false hope that I would be satisfied with my boyfriend rather than the Lord. However, I was hurting my family and myself by refusing God’s best. After the third month of this horrible lifestyle, my parents told me to pack my bags and then they dropped me off at the IBLP Headquarters. I was so upset and determined I would not change, but God had different plans.

After working on staff for three months, I attended my second Journey to the Heart. I seemed fine to everyone around me but inside that battle was raging. I wanted my own way and my own plans, but I couldn’t argue with the genuineness of those around me. Their love for the Lord, their surrendered lifestyle, their true joy that only comes from the Lord, and their satisfaction in Him placed before me a choice: me or God. I couldn’t go any longer! I broke and surrendered. I confessed everything to my parents, which was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life! But it was worth it because the strength of sin is in its secrecy!

Confessing to my parents and turning away from my sin gave me a new humility, which I wouldn’t trade for anything! I have a new freedom and joy I never knew and now I love the Lord more than anything and am willing to serve Him with all that I am. I am truly satisfied, because He is all I need or could ever want!

~ Anna

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In my last post, I wrote on how the Lord had cleansed me from worldly music. He did. However, it was only another step through the door of true understanding. Although there was a new found resolve in my heart from the vow I made to the Lord, I felt as though I was still putting forth most of the effort in every area of my life and spiritual maturity.

It was like a shadow on the wall of my heart. No matter where I went, I couldn’t get away from it, and trying to wipe a shadow from a wall doesn’t work. This shadow was not specific unconfessed sins, but rather the core of who I was illuminated by God’s Word. Stopping the Light of God from purifying me completely, this darkness of self led me into deeper and deeper misery.

In my outward life, things were actually going the best they ever had. The Lord had cleansed me from a stronghold, I was striving for righteousness, and I felt confident that I was doing what the Lord wanted me to do. But there was still the shadow. When I wouldn’t get up for devotions, a sweep of hate would fall upon me—a hatred of myself. I wanted to kill myself. “Either Christianity is miserable or it isn’t real.” That is where my thoughts often directed themselves. When the ever-looming fact of my inadequacy to please God would continue to present itself, I would continue to run back to what I believed, to what I had done to prove that I was God’s child.

Truly, everything good is the work of the Lord. It comes only from His mighty grace which flows from His heart of love—the Life of Jesus. In my pathetic state of strong-willed iniquity, God still sought me. The Lord kept knocking—calling to me tenderly. All He wanted me to do was open the door, see who I really was, confess my absolute inadequacy, and let Him and His goodness fully into my heart.

O how we are blessed with a God that pursues us diligently! On my knees—powerless, hopeless, and defeated—I opened the door. When the genuinely evil motives of my self-righteous heart were revealed, God poured down His grace from heaven and glory filled my soul.

At first I felt no different, but knowledge of the truth of His Word in my heart grew. By that night I couldn’t sleep for the joy that was burning in me. In the morning, when the pure excitement of true salvation began to sink in, I noticed something else. No shadow. I had it all backwards. This was never my own journey to my heart. It was God’s journey to my heart! And now, “It is finished.” He has won and cleansed me. I am His. And now the journey of Christ in me, which I knew nothing about, begins.

~ Tim
June 2008 Guys’ Journey

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I didn’t have any real sense of God’s power. I didn’t read the Bible very much and strongly doubted its infallibility. Dabbles in systematic theology and Christian philosophy had left me cynical toward Christianity—God wasn’t a power in my life, merely something to be put into a logic formula or defined by a set of verses.

At the Journey to the Heart, away from all the noise and distraction of the world, I began to see God’s power through the individuals around me. They could pray with such power! Speaking blessings to each other and crying out to God had real meaning! At first I thought it was showy, extravagant zeal—as if like the priests of Baal, we were dancing and cutting ourselves on an altar for a god who wouldn’t really work the way we asked him to.

But when our group started to talk about secret sins and several of my teammates gave testimonies about how freeing it was to talk to their parents about their struggles, I felt the conviction of the Holy Spirit and called my father to repent of something I had hid from him for three years. The freedom I felt was amazing! I couldn’t describe it, yet it was so real.

The next day our team got with another team to pray for a young man who felt he needed to call his parents concerning a secret sin. As we prayed together in one accord, I felt God’s Spirit pour out grace, humility, and strength, not only on the young man in the center of our circle but on all of us. I began to cry as I realized what I had been missing: God was real!

Over the next few days the Word of God became living to me. I now understand how easy it is to trust God: His Word explains the world better than any human reasoning and gives our lives principles to live by that are so true and cannot be found elsewhere.

I am so thankful for the opportunity to discover the power of the God of my Salvation at this journey!

~ Tim
August 2008 Guys Journey

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Before the Journey, I was an average American Christian. I had prayed and even had some good fruit, but I wasn’t growing. I wanted to do great things spiritually, but I did not know how.

I tried having consistent quiet times with the Lord, although I never really made God my first priority. I also tried starting a Bible study, which helped a little. Then I learned that in order to “love God with all my heart” I must remove all competing affections.

Throughout the week, God would reveal competing affections to me. As He brought each one to my mind I would confess them and give them to God. After I confessed all of my competing affections and hidden sins to my father and repented, I began to experience a new life in my walk with God. As I continue to grow, I find a new interest in reading His word, a desire to let nothing come between God and a dedication to live out God’s best rather than my best.

~ Steven
June 2008 Guys’ Journey

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