Living the Journey

In my last post, I wrote on how the Lord had cleansed me from worldly music. He did. However, it was only another step through the door of true understanding. Although there was a new found resolve in my heart from the vow I made to the Lord, I felt as though I was still putting forth most of the effort in every area of my life and spiritual maturity.

It was like a shadow on the wall of my heart. No matter where I went, I couldn’t get away from it, and trying to wipe a shadow from a wall doesn’t work. This shadow was not specific unconfessed sins, but rather the core of who I was illuminated by God’s Word. Stopping the Light of God from purifying me completely, this darkness of self led me into deeper and deeper misery.

In my outward life, things were actually going the best they ever had. The Lord had cleansed me from a stronghold, I was striving for righteousness, and I felt confident that I was doing what the Lord wanted me to do. But there was still the shadow. When I wouldn’t get up for devotions, a sweep of hate would fall upon me—a hatred of myself. I wanted to kill myself. “Either Christianity is miserable or it isn’t real.” That is where my thoughts often directed themselves. When the ever-looming fact of my inadequacy to please God would continue to present itself, I would continue to run back to what I believed, to what I had done to prove that I was God’s child.

Truly, everything good is the work of the Lord. It comes only from His mighty grace which flows from His heart of love—the Life of Jesus. In my pathetic state of strong-willed iniquity, God still sought me. The Lord kept knocking—calling to me tenderly. All He wanted me to do was open the door, see who I really was, confess my absolute inadequacy, and let Him and His goodness fully into my heart.

O how we are blessed with a God that pursues us diligently! On my knees—powerless, hopeless, and defeated—I opened the door. When the genuinely evil motives of my self-righteous heart were revealed, God poured down His grace from heaven and glory filled my soul.

At first I felt no different, but knowledge of the truth of His Word in my heart grew. By that night I couldn’t sleep for the joy that was burning in me. In the morning, when the pure excitement of true salvation began to sink in, I noticed something else. No shadow. I had it all backwards. This was never my own journey to my heart. It was God’s journey to my heart! And now, “It is finished.” He has won and cleansed me. I am His. And now the journey of Christ in me, which I knew nothing about, begins.

~ Tim
June 2008 Guys’ Journey

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I didn’t have any real sense of God’s power. I didn’t read the Bible very much and strongly doubted its infallibility. Dabbles in systematic theology and Christian philosophy had left me cynical toward Christianity—God wasn’t a power in my life, merely something to be put into a logic formula or defined by a set of verses.

At the Journey to the Heart, away from all the noise and distraction of the world, I began to see God’s power through the individuals around me. They could pray with such power! Speaking blessings to each other and crying out to God had real meaning! At first I thought it was showy, extravagant zeal—as if like the priests of Baal, we were dancing and cutting ourselves on an altar for a god who wouldn’t really work the way we asked him to.

But when our group started to talk about secret sins and several of my teammates gave testimonies about how freeing it was to talk to their parents about their struggles, I felt the conviction of the Holy Spirit and called my father to repent of something I had hid from him for three years. The freedom I felt was amazing! I couldn’t describe it, yet it was so real.

The next day our team got with another team to pray for a young man who felt he needed to call his parents concerning a secret sin. As we prayed together in one accord, I felt God’s Spirit pour out grace, humility, and strength, not only on the young man in the center of our circle but on all of us. I began to cry as I realized what I had been missing: God was real!

Over the next few days the Word of God became living to me. I now understand how easy it is to trust God: His Word explains the world better than any human reasoning and gives our lives principles to live by that are so true and cannot be found elsewhere.

I am so thankful for the opportunity to discover the power of the God of my Salvation at this journey!

~ Tim
August 2008 Guys Journey

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Before the Journey, I was an average American Christian. I had prayed and even had some good fruit, but I wasn’t growing. I wanted to do great things spiritually, but I did not know how.

I tried having consistent quiet times with the Lord, although I never really made God my first priority. I also tried starting a Bible study, which helped a little. Then I learned that in order to “love God with all my heart” I must remove all competing affections.

Throughout the week, God would reveal competing affections to me. As He brought each one to my mind I would confess them and give them to God. After I confessed all of my competing affections and hidden sins to my father and repented, I began to experience a new life in my walk with God. As I continue to grow, I find a new interest in reading His word, a desire to let nothing come between God and a dedication to live out God’s best rather than my best.

~ Steven
June 2008 Guys’ Journey

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When I came to go on the Journey to the Heart I was thinking I would come, get it over with, go home, give a testimony and act the same. But God had different plans. The first few days my plan went great, but after that God started working on me. He showed me areas of sin and moral failure in my life. So I called my Dad and told him about these areas and asked him to forgive me for times I had lied and been disrespectful to him. I asked God to forgive me and I felt like a load had fallen off and the Lord began to speak to me from His Word. It was great.

~ Lance
March 2008 Guys’ Journey

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“At first I did not want to come…but now I am glad I did! There are three major highlights/ things God did during the Journey. The first was the time we spent praying…the power of speaking with God Himself, especially with sisters in Christ was amazing!  Also all the time we had in the morning to spend alone with Him! Through our prayers and cries, God answered, showed Himself, and taught us wonderful things. Before now, I had never realized the power of prayer when two or more are gathered together in His name!

The second thing that I got from this journey, is the freedom that comes when we confess our faults to one another (and pray for one another) and to God. Realizing that I have sinned before God (in many ways I had never realized before) and that my heart was full of things that hinder and cut off my communication and love for God. Getting rid of these things and surrendering the many rights that I have/had, have brought me closer to the Lord and given me greater love for Him and a tender heart that can actually detect when I have done something which displeases God.

The third thing I understand better now as a result of this Journey, is the reality and workings of spiritual warfare. All this week, I have been in a constant battle against Satan and his powers of the flesh. I would feel great heaviness in my heart, hindering me from sweet fellowship with my Lord and those around me. Every time I felt this or another hindrance I would ask the girls to pray for me and each time, Satan would leave and I would experience extreme joy and great love. It is hard, though, to fight and struggle against Satan…when challenged to be a soldier in active duty (2 Timothy 2:1-5), I told the Lord “yes”. God told me that He would give sufficient grace for every trial. One of the girls on my team encouraged me in the truth that, through Jesus Christ, the victory has already been won! We just need to CLAIM that victory before Satan!!!

The Lord, MY God, is powerful and mighty! I praise Him for what He has done this week. I have been greatly blessed through this Journey and I pray that God would knock His way through the remainder of my heart, convicting me of His grace and power that to be free from a hindered heart, convicting me of what I need to change and then give me His grace and power to be free…so I can impact the world for Him and be a bright light!!! Blessed be MY God and Father, the Lord Jesus Christ, who is worthy to be praised!!!!”

~ Bethany
September 2007 Girls’ Journey

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