So it all began when I moved to a different neighborhood that my life started to go down hill. First, I was made fun of and picked on. I decided to change so that I could “fit-in”. I began hanging out with the wrong friends, using drugs and such.
I found out that I had to go to Journey to the Heart and I got all excited about coming…but it was all for the wrong reasons. I arrived at the headquarters and I met this kid named Charles. I soon found out that we had almost the exact same interests. We both LOVED rock music, and we enjoyed playing it on our guitars. We also had similar struggles in different friendships. We decided that we would go and ignore God and everything and everyone and just play our guitars and listen to music. But God didn’t have that in mind for us. Later that night I had an interview with Mr. Gothard and I told him that I listened to rock music. He sat and thought for a moment and then asked me to pray and dedicate my music to God. I did but really deep down inside, I didn’t mean it.
On the way to Northwoods our leader told us to get out our Bibles and have a quiet time with the Lord. I was trying to think of something to read when I looked in the front of the Bible that my leader had given me and saw a list of references that you could go to during times of struggle with your relationship with God. I read Matthew, chapter five, which was convicting, but I tried to ignore it.
The first day in Northwoods we began talking about other religions and Satanism. It scared me so much that I was shaking with fear. I recognized that there is only ONE true God that can save and give you eternal life or destroy and sentence you to eternal damnation. That night I verbally asked Jesus to come into my heart and that I would know that He was real…and He did. The next day I recognized that I needed to call my parents and confess some of the struggles and failures that I had kept hidden. I confessed my moral failures, pornography, my language, and wrong music, which was the hardest thing to do. After I had confessed these hidden failures and different
struggles to my parents, I felt a WHOLE NEW freedom come over me. Later on in the week, we went on a walk around the lake and it was like I was having a conversation with God.
When we got back Charles and I went straight for our guitars but I was pricked in my conscience and recognized the need to play the right kind of music. As I look back on the Journey, I see God’s love for me and His abundant mercy that is so great. He desires our whole heart to be seeking Him, not just part of it.
~ Jesse
March 2008 Guys’ Journey
