Living the Journey

A Painful Memory

In December 1964, after completing nine and a half months of service in Vietnam, I arrived at Travis Air Force Base in Bolero, CA. It was Christmas Eve, and I was anxious see my wife and be home for Christmas.

As I left the base to catch a bus, a group of war protesters threw rotten fruit and eggs at us, calling us baby-killers. I wanted to break their heads but was restrained by the military police. I was deeply crushed because there seemed to be no appreciation back at home for the soldiers who were sacrificing their lives for their country. This caused me to become very bitter.

An Explosion of Anger

In 1971 in Globe, AZ, I was driving up a narrow street on a steep hill when I was met by someone in another vehicle on my side of the road. The road was too steep to back up so he began to curse me and give naughty waves.

In anger, I got out of my truck and walked up to his car. He quickly locked the doors and rolled up the windows. I grabbed the door handle and pulled it right off the car. My next thought was to smash the window with the handle, break his head with it, and then drag him out through the window. I could see the terror in his eyes.

But in that instant, God spoke to my heart and told me to stop. Somehow, I controlled my anger, apologized, and got back in my truck. After that incident, I realized I had a serious problem with anger. Yet instead of properly dealing with it, I only sank deeper into my bitterness, anger, and depression, fighting suicidal and violent thoughts.

Freedom from Bitterness

Early in 1975, I attended the Institute in Basic Youth Conflicts Seminar in Fort Worth, TX after hearing the testimony of an alumnus. Mr. Bill Gothard talked about one area in which I knew I needed tremendous help—overcoming bitterness.

Through the teachings about Jesus Christ and His power to reconstruct lives, I was able to overcome bitterness and forgive the offensive war protesters, as well as a nation who I felt had betrayed all Vietnam War veterans. There is now healing instead of hurt.

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I was lacking a closeness to God in a lot of ways. I was not feeling His presence and would read the Scriptures just to read it and and say I had done so. Because of my lack of closeness to God, I was not hearing His voice through the Scriptures or by the Holy Spirit. I tried to focus on what I was reading and asked God to show me something from His Word, but would get distracted with this or that.

I started to hear God’s voice when I began to get things cleared up with Him and those around me and for the first time I really felt His powerful comforting presence when all was confessed and forgiven. I have a real joy in my heart for the first time that I can think of. I have a greater desire to memorize God’s Word and to hide it in my heart, that I might not sin against God. I am free from the guilt and bitterness that weighed me down from hearing God’s voice for a long time!

~ Matthew
June 2008 Guys’ Journey

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When my parents asked me to come to the Journey to the Heart, I really did not want to come. I had been building walls between myself and my father. I also was not yielding my whole life to God.

The very first day in the Northwoods God really spoke to me and I gave my whole life to Him. God has truly given me freedom in this area of submitting myself to Him. I thank God for parents that were willing to send me to this wonderful program.

~ Thomas
June 2008 Guys Journey

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I had begun to go into depression. I realized that I couldn’t hear God’s voice anymore. Bit by bit, I lost my desire to even try to make a difference. I didn’t want to wake up and face another day of pain…

…The result of the Journey was life changing. God revealed to me the reason why I was depressed and also how to deal with it. I now have answers.

~ Cullen
March 2008 Guys’ Journey

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“At first I did not want to come…but now I am glad I did! There are three major highlights/ things God did during the Journey. The first was the time we spent praying…the power of speaking with God Himself, especially with sisters in Christ was amazing!  Also all the time we had in the morning to spend alone with Him! Through our prayers and cries, God answered, showed Himself, and taught us wonderful things. Before now, I had never realized the power of prayer when two or more are gathered together in His name!

The second thing that I got from this journey, is the freedom that comes when we confess our faults to one another (and pray for one another) and to God. Realizing that I have sinned before God (in many ways I had never realized before) and that my heart was full of things that hinder and cut off my communication and love for God. Getting rid of these things and surrendering the many rights that I have/had, have brought me closer to the Lord and given me greater love for Him and a tender heart that can actually detect when I have done something which displeases God.

The third thing I understand better now as a result of this Journey, is the reality and workings of spiritual warfare. All this week, I have been in a constant battle against Satan and his powers of the flesh. I would feel great heaviness in my heart, hindering me from sweet fellowship with my Lord and those around me. Every time I felt this or another hindrance I would ask the girls to pray for me and each time, Satan would leave and I would experience extreme joy and great love. It is hard, though, to fight and struggle against Satan…when challenged to be a soldier in active duty (2 Timothy 2:1-5), I told the Lord “yes”. God told me that He would give sufficient grace for every trial. One of the girls on my team encouraged me in the truth that, through Jesus Christ, the victory has already been won! We just need to CLAIM that victory before Satan!!!

The Lord, MY God, is powerful and mighty! I praise Him for what He has done this week. I have been greatly blessed through this Journey and I pray that God would knock His way through the remainder of my heart, convicting me of His grace and power that to be free from a hindered heart, convicting me of what I need to change and then give me His grace and power to be free…so I can impact the world for Him and be a bright light!!! Blessed be MY God and Father, the Lord Jesus Christ, who is worthy to be praised!!!!”

~ Bethany
September 2007 Girls’ Journey

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