God is not a God of intellect or human reasoning. He doesn’t care how you word your prayers, or if you sound “put together” when you come before Him with all your worries. He much prefers a child that is desperate for Him, lost without Him, and no longer concerned about anything but Him. He wants you in your lowest, weakest state – the REAL you – void of all human strength, empty of all self. That is when He draws near and whispers in your ear the perfect answer; that is when He fills you up with Himself and provides a solution that heals every problem and destroys every burden.

My Father taught me to pray at Journey. He didn’t whip out a gigantic list of problems that I had and tell me to fix them all. He simply said, “Ask, and ye shall receive from my hand…”

So I asked!

Prior to the Journey, our family had been in Pennsylvania visiting relatives. During our time there, the Lord had placed on my heart a tremendous burden for some of our unsaved relatives. That first day at Journey, I felt the Lord leading me to ask for their salvation again. I knelt by the bed in my room and found myself pouring out my heart before the Lord. He gave me peace as I laid it all at His feet! I was able to cast my cares upon Him and spend the remainder of the day rejoicing in His love and feeling a new awareness of His presence!

It was just the next day that I was talking by phone with my younger sister Bethany, who is 12. She shared excitedly with me how they had decided to stay in PA one extra day for no reason at all. That day, our cousins came by to visit. (This was the same day I had prayed). Bethany poured out her story of the conversation she had carried on with our cousin Emily, who is very close to her in age, and how the Lord had led her to share the gospel with Emily. She told me that Emily had received the Lord as her Savior and had dedicated her life to Jesus!!! “Ask, and ye shall receive…”

Perhaps the greatest lesson God taught me at Journey is this: Solutions to my problems do not come by a method, but by a relationship with Him. On Friday evening in the Northwoods, 6 teams (64+ girls) had gathered to pray in the upper prayer tower. For the first time, I witnessed one-accord power in prayer throughout an entire group of girls and not just a single team! I watched as young ladies committed and re-committed their lives to Jesus, confessed hidden sins, cried out for freedom, and laid their requests at the feet of their Maker. During this time our team cried out for salvation for lost friends and family, healing for the sick among us, and various other needs. The Holy Spirit was present among us that night!!! Others who were far beyond the walls of the prayer tower testified that they had heard us crying out to Jesus – a noise like thunder.

Later on in the week, Satan attacked me with discouragement. I found myself questioning God, “Why do you not heal the sick that we prayed for? Why do you not save the lost that we lifted up to you?” It occurred to me that I had been looking to this one-accord moment as the key to all my problems. I had been convinced that I could simply lay every prayer before the Lord and He would grant it all for me just like that. God taught me a powerful lesson on drawing near to Him, and persistently, fervently praying without ceasing.

Prayer is not a one-time act. God instructs us to pray day and night, without ceasing. Furthermore, we do not use it as a tool to just check off every problem and solve every trouble. Prayer is a means of drawing us near to the heart of Jesus, and of fellowship between believers and their Heavenly Father. It is meant to be the vital part of our relationship with our King and Creator, and thus the most effective weapon in that way. God is ever teaching me that He knows my every need, and He desires me to be in full fellowship with Him, that I may trust His perfect will whatever that may be – without doubt or worry, or anxiety.

Lay every burden at His feet and cast your cares upon Him. He will open His hand to pour forth untold blessings upon you, if you simply ask in faith, believing.

~ Sarah
July 2010 Journey

From day one of the Journey I was challenged to examine my heart more thoroughly than ever before. I looked into my life and I saw . . . myself. It was like going into a library filled with one subject—me. Shelves filled with volumes on my experiences and articles on my talents; walls covered with pictures of the things I’d accomplished and detailed schedules of my future. There were a few notes on what God had done in my life and a couple of pictures of the gifts He’d given me, but that was all.

To tell you the truth, I was horrified! I looked into my life and saw few evidences of real humility, Christ-like grace, or genuine love—enough to get by as being a “good Christian,” but not enough to be truly Godly. You might not have noticed it from the outside, but after discovering it, I knew, and the knowledge made me rather uncomfortable. One morning on my prayer walk around the lake in the Northwoods, I stood chewing my nails at the door of the self-library of my heart. Then I felt Jesus come up behind me and ask, “Do you believe that I can do a great work in your life?”

I said, “Sure. You can do anything.” But then God revealed one big area in which I had not trusted Him—my future. I realized that through desiring my own way for my future, I was taking it out of God’s hands and saying, “Thanks, I’ll handle this.” By being afraid of failure, I was failing to trust that He had a perfect plan for my life.

So I told God I would trust Him, no matter what. I told Him how it would be hard for me sometimes, and I asked Him to come alongside me and encourage me when I felt like I couldn’t trust Him any more. I asked Him to make His presence and love first and foremost in my mind so I’d never forget. It was so freeing, handing my future back to the Lord!

Immediately, He brought to mind part of a message Mr. Gothard had given us back at Headquarters on what a blessing it can be to give God a period of years while you are still young and single to focus on serving Him without distraction. God said to me, “I want you to give me the next four years of your life and dedicate those years to single service. I will use you fully for me, and you won’t need to worry any more about how your youth will be spent.” At first I thought, “Why? I gave you my whole life—now you’re taking any possibility of marriage within the next four years!” (Now I realize how ridiculous that excuse was . . . I’ll only be 21, after all!) But He convicted me to give Him the next four years in which to remain single, with no reservations.

I did. Once I placed that area of my life in His hands, I was filled with joy! I wanted to sing! (It’s a good thing I was alone on my walk, because I don’t have the greatest singing voice… <g>) I realized that through giving God the next four years, He would be able to create in me the person He wanted me to be. Every decision, every thought, and every idea would be placed into His caring hands. It was among the most difficult decisions I’ve ever made . . . four years is a long time! But I felt so blessed by the knowledge that He would always be there for me, I would gladly do it again if He asked me to.

Another one of the things that changed my life during the Journey was hearing God’s voice. I’d never heard Him like that before. He spoke to me personally, and I want nothing more than to experience that for the rest of my life. Psalm 25:4-5 says it very well: “Shew me thy ways, O LORD; teach me thy paths. Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day.” He speaks to us, teaches us, and shows us our way, if only we take the time to listen. I experienced His presence – a presence that I want to live in constantly.

Yet another thing that really convicted me was the message that my team leader, Madison, gave us one evening in the Northwoods. She spoke on praising God. How often do we ask Him for favors? When He comes through in small but miraculous ways, do we just say, “Oh, thanks, God!” and continue with our life? The next morning, I was reading Psalm 33:8: “Let all the earth fear the LORD: let all the inhabitants of the world stand in awe of him.”

It was like God was saying to me, “Am I awesome enough?” So many times we throw that word around. “Oh, that’s awesome!” Is it really? Synonyms for awesome include breathtaking, astonishing, and overwhelming. Wow! Is God awesome enough? That morning, I told Him He was awesome enough for me!! I purposed in my heart to praise Him for every little thing.

I came home refreshed and encouraged. I came home with a humbled, purified heart. While on my Journey, my Lord and I cleaned out my heart’s library and washed it from top to bottom. Even now, as I continue to learn more about Him, He is filling me with His radiance and inhabiting my heart as His home. I’m far from perfect. I’m far from ideal. It hasn’t been easy. But I know it will be rewarding if I lived a poured-out life for His glory alone. I went from having a life centered on my own agenda to traveling the road of Christ-likeness—an exciting and continuous Journey that will take a lifetime!

~ Hannah
March 2010 Journey

Listen to an audio version of Hannah’s testimony:Download audio file (Testimony_201003_Hannah.mp3)
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A month before I came to the Journey to the Heart, life at my home was falling apart. Problems that had been discreetly covered over in public life were causing so much anger and pain that life was almost unbearable.

I grew up in the Philippines. I loved the people, loved the ministry, and loved seeing so much of God. His hand was working in troubled lives through the testimonies we shared with one another. He was ever present and always sufficient. As I got older, the cares of living caught up with me, people and relationships became more tangled and I began to put God farther and farther down on my list. He became so common that I took Him for granted.

Then our whole ministry came crashing to pieces.

Ugly problems that had been working in secret finally surfaced. My father sat me and my older brother down and said: “We are leaving.” The only thing that came to my mind was that this was some king of cruel joke.  It could not be happening.  It was not possible.

It was true.

In one month our entire lives were packed into boxes and I found myself in a foreign country (but my passport said it was “home”) where I knew little more than the geography and the language . . . and little of that.

For You, O God, have tested us;
You have refined us as silver is refined.
You brought us into the net;
You laid affliction on our backs.
You have caused men to ride over our heads;
We went through fire and through water;

The next year I spent much time working on my own to survive. I waded through the morass of teen life trying desperately to salvage some sort of meaning. The mission climate I had been accustomed to made “teen problems” seem shallow. I buried myself in books to find some life wherein I could understand people, where life had meaning, and where my wounds wouldn’t hurt so badly. I sunk so deep into depression that I would wonder why I even wanted to remain alive.  Into my vortex of pain, God began to tenderly turn me toward Him.

Come and see the works of God;
He is awesome in His doing toward the sons of men.
He turned the sea into dry land;
They went through the river on foot.
There we will rejoice in Him.

In 2008, during a session with Teen Pact, they gave a time for personal prayer and meditation. For the first time in about 4 years, I was able to still my mind and I asked God if I could ever go back to the Philippines (my life goal, basically). Suddenly, almost like a physical touch, I heard the word “Here.” “Here?” I asked. “Why here? I don’t fit in here. I will freeze to death here!” Then, in the midst of my complaints I realized that I had stopped His Spirit from speaking to me because of my complaints.

If I regard iniquity in my heart,
The Lord will not hear.
But certainly God has heard me;
He has attended to the voice of my prayer.
Blessed be God,
Who has not turned away my prayer,
Nor His mercy from me!

I came to the Journey to the Heart hoping that God would see my gifts in language and culture and send me off to a foreign country where I could put them into action for His glory.  I wanted God to fix the problems in my family that had caused our ministry in the Philippines to collapse.  But He didn’t do that.

More than ever I knew that His calling for me was “here”—to serve my family and be a missionary to them. Their problems and their wounds were something I could speak to. This was the mission that he had uniquely equipped me to accomplish.

It was stunning and overwhelming to realize. It was heavy and taxing for me to agree to.  But I am fulfilled and blessed to be doing it. I realized that Journey was giving me the tools to reach God’s Heart and show it to my family. It has not been easy. Coming home I could not say anything to my mother without her getting angry at me and saying how bitter I sounded.  I searched my heart over and over . . . but found nothing.  Then God gave me a rhema: Psalm 59. I was then able to pray for her and work on loving her without words.

About a week later, when I was driving my younger brother to an activity, he looked up at me and said: “I don’t know how you dealt with how angry mommy was at you that first week after you came home!  I know I would have yelled at her . . . .” and he continued on his train of thought.  It was a blessing to my heart to know that my efforts had not only calmed the situation with my mother, but my younger siblings also saw it and it was a testimony to them!

Say to God,
“How awesome are Your works!
Through the greatness of Your power
Your enemies shall submit themselves to You.
All the earth shall worship You
And sing praises to You;
They shall sing praises to Your name.”

He has sustained me and been closer to my heart than a brother.  He has also allowed me to know things that I would not normally know, and has given me hope.  Andy said over and over that hope was what would keep us going, and hope has been His gift to me in numerous ways.

Oh, bless our God, you peoples!
And make the voice of His praise to be heard,
Who keeps our soul among the living,
And does not allow our feet to be moved.

~ Jen
September 2009 Journey

Download audio file (Testimony_200908_Rebecca.mp3)
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~ Rebecca
July 2009 Girls Journey

August 19th one year ago marks the largest turning point in my life. It was on that day that, while on a Journey to the Heart, God pulled on my heart and convicted me to call my earthly father about a sin I had been hiding for years. In my journal that day, I wrote two sentences:

“August 19th, 2008: On this day, I begin a new path towards moral freedom.”

“O God who made these trees, let this moment be the title page of a new beginning.”

Little did I know how much God would fulfill those two statements of my heart. His method was simple: take my life, flip it upside down, and shake me out. Then flip me back over and fill my cup with His presence—His continual presence. Here are the three major areas He has affected the most in my life.

God’s Word is Living

Prior to Journey to the Heart, I never read my Bible. Never. I didn’t want to. I felt nothing when I did, and seriously doubted its inerrancy. I read many books on why the Bible was reliable, but the more I read, the more I doubted it. I liked Aquinas and Plato better, who gave logical reasons for what they stated, as opposed to the Apostle Paul’s way of stating spiritual matters as facts without any backing but Jesus’ work on the cross.

While as Journey to the heart, I discovered why the Bible is trusted by so many: it speaks to man’s heart. Read the Psalms and the words of Jesus, and one sees a depth that touches the weaknesses of man’s humanity like no psychologist ever could.

God’s Way of Life is Freedom

One year ago, I could have written St. Augustine word for word:

“But I was an unhappy young man, wretched as at the beginning of my adolescence when I prayed you for chastity and said: ‘Grant me chastity and continence, but not yet.’ I was afraid you might hear my prayer quickly, and that you might too rapidly heal me of the disease of lust which I preferred to satisfy rather than suppress.”
(Confessions, VIII. vii)

Yet right now, comparing now to a year ago, I cannot remember the last time I lusted like I had before Journey. I cannot take any credit for this at all. It is an uphill struggle every day, and it takes but a moment to fall. But most of all God has remained faithful to me, in turning my heart towards Him and away from the lusts of the flesh. He has taught me His way of freedom, to live for Him and not for myself.

My father calls this concept the “spit-in-the-face theory” while the Apostle Paul calls it “dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.” The concept is the same: what I do is not conditioned upon what others do to me or what I want to do, but only upon what Christ has said is best to do. If someone shows me love, I show them love back because Christ commands it. If someone spits in my face, I show them love back because Christ commands it. My identity, and therefore my actions, aren’t circumstantial to this world, because my Master isn’t in this world, only in me.

God’s Presence is Salvation

As I mentioned earlier, before Journey to the Heart I didn’t read my Bible at all. Now, I feel I cannot get enough of it. Any time I miss a quiet time, God has a practical method for reminding me to seek Him and not earthly pleasures. The more time I spend in the word, especially in memorization and mediation, the more God reveals to me His truths.

Yet, faith is not religious belief in what we cannot understand, but the putting in action what we believe (see Hebrews 11). I cannot count the times in the past year God has tapped me on the shoulder and said, “You are a follower of Christ, Tim. You must live like one.” Only a few weeks after Journey, my computer crashed and I lost a lot of important files. Normally I would have put my fist through the nearest wall in frustration. But this time I felt a strange peace. I knew that God was still in control.

In front of my dying computer, I committed the outcome of whatever happened to God and determined to learn what God was trying to teach me through this occurrence. And He did teach me. I learned an amazing truth: when one looks for God in everything, one can always find Him and understand why His will is what it is.

Tim on a ministry trip to Malaysia with a young friend named Venyeshe

So many times over the last year these kinds of lesson has been pounded into me by God. Sometimes the lessons are painful, sometimes they bring great joy. But through it all, God has been faithful in His presence in my life, as He teaches me about faith, hope, and love.

Journey to the Heart, for me, was the beginning of a discovery, the discovery of God. This day is special to me because it marked not the beginning of a Journey, but the end of one, my search for full fellowship with God. Many more things have happened that have not been given here, and many more will happen yet. “I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

~ Tim
August 2008 Guys’ Journey

Sure enough, the Spirit of God spoke to me and pointed out to me the things that I needed to make right. I have returned home with a list from God of people I need to ask forgiveness from, things I need to talk to my parents about, and other people I need to talk to. Now I am discovering how to walk in the light, have a clear conscience, and to be a mighty man of God.

More than that, the Lord is revealing Himself to me in ways I could not have imagined. He is opening up my eyes to His word and showing me insights by His Spirit. I am learning how to communicate with Jesus and how to recognize His voice. It wasn’t until I went to a quiet place and honestly opened myself to the Lord that I began to hear from Him. He answered my questions and responded to my requests. And above all, I found a God who wanted me and wanted to fellowship with me.

Now I am learning what it means to live in Christ; exchanging His life for mine. I no longer live for Christ, but Christ is my life. I am asking Him to live in me and through me to accomplish His will and His purposes. Instead of trying so hard to be a Christian, I am trusting Christ to be my all in all. Now God can do through me what I think is impossible because He is free to be all that He is. As I die, Christ lives.

God used “Journey to the Heart” to rekindle my relationship with Him. I am encouraged to daily meditate on His word and seek His face. Thank you, Jesus!

~ Timothy
July 2008 Guys Journey

I had to surrender the desire for the approval of the world as well as the pleasures of sin. I have to chose the narrow way. God doesn’t want me to look like the world. I decided to give up movies and music of the world and all competing affections that came between between me and God.

I heard from God on this Journey. God revealed to me that I needed to be spending significantly more time in His Word. How can I witness to other people if I don’t even have my own salvation nailed down and confirmed with scripture? God can’t speak to me unless I am listening.

Overall, I had a great Journey and God blessed our time. Thank you!

~ Ryan
June 2008 Guys’ Journey

A Painful Memory

In December 1964, after completing nine and a half months of service in Vietnam, I arrived at Travis Air Force Base in Bolero, CA. It was Christmas Eve, and I was anxious see my wife and be home for Christmas.

As I left the base to catch a bus, a group of war protesters threw rotten fruit and eggs at us, calling us baby-killers. I wanted to break their heads but was restrained by the military police. I was deeply crushed because there seemed to be no appreciation back at home for the soldiers who were sacrificing their lives for their country. This caused me to become very bitter.

An Explosion of Anger

In 1971 in Globe, AZ, I was driving up a narrow street on a steep hill when I was met by someone in another vehicle on my side of the road. The road was too steep to back up so he began to curse me and give naughty waves.

In anger, I got out of my truck and walked up to his car. He quickly locked the doors and rolled up the windows. I grabbed the door handle and pulled it right off the car. My next thought was to smash the window with the handle, break his head with it, and then drag him out through the window. I could see the terror in his eyes.

But in that instant, God spoke to my heart and told me to stop. Somehow, I controlled my anger, apologized, and got back in my truck. After that incident, I realized I had a serious problem with anger. Yet instead of properly dealing with it, I only sank deeper into my bitterness, anger, and depression, fighting suicidal and violent thoughts.

Freedom from Bitterness

Early in 1975, I attended the Institute in Basic Youth Conflicts Seminar in Fort Worth, TX after hearing the testimony of an alumnus. Mr. Bill Gothard talked about one area in which I knew I needed tremendous help—overcoming bitterness.

Through the teachings about Jesus Christ and His power to reconstruct lives, I was able to overcome bitterness and forgive the offensive war protesters, as well as a nation who I felt had betrayed all Vietnam War veterans. There is now healing instead of hurt.

I started to hear God’s voice when I began to get things cleared up with Him and those around me and for the first time I really felt His powerful comforting presence when all was confessed and forgiven. I have a real joy in my heart for the first time that I can think of. I have a greater desire to memorize God’s Word and to hide it in my heart, that I might not sin against God. I am free from the guilt and bitterness that weighed me down from hearing God’s voice for a long time!

~ Matthew
June 2008 Guys’ Journey

The very first day in the Northwoods God really spoke to me and I gave my whole life to Him. God has truly given me freedom in this area of submitting myself to Him. I thank God for parents that were willing to send me to this wonderful program.

~ Thomas
June 2008 Guys Journey