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~ Trina
May 2010 Journey

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~ Henry
April 2010 Journey

It started at home, checking with my family members to see if my conscience really was clear toward them. It went to a new level at the airport when obstacles started coming up. Two other girls and I were traveling together and when one of them couldn’t go through security because of ID, she wanted to stop right there in the crowded security line and pray. Okay, Lord, I asked You for humility . . . . Seeing Him work in everyday circumstances was not new to me, but praying out loud in a public place was. Though several more problems came up, we watched the Lord answer prayer and smooth them all out.

At the first session, someone spoke about the sin of the fear of man. Fear of man has always been a problem for me, but I don’t remember ever hearing it classified as a sin! The next morning I was reading my Bible in the living room, and one other girl from my team was seated on the far side of the room doing the same thing. God suddenly laid on my heart that He wanted me to confess the sin of the fear of man—out loud. So I whispered a prayer of confession. “Louder,” He said. I tried again, still in a whisper. “Louder!” “But she’ll hear me!” I answered. It was a struggle that lasted several minutes.

I knew if I didn’t obey in one thing, then the whole week would be wasted. Anything I hoped to learn about loving God would mean nothing if I wasn’t willing to obey Him in everything. So at last, with His grace, I went over and asked the other girl to pray with me so that I could confess this sin with my mouth out loud to the Lord.

Listening to a sermon by Paul Washer later that week, God convicted me about some forms of entertainment that had become idols for me. That night when the team met, we experienced an amazing time of prayer, and only the first of many. There is nothing in this world like praying with a group of believers who all just want to be honest and open before God and to know Him more than anything else. It is worth the humbling, the confessions, and the tears.

During the Journey, I was given a great deal of time to just get alone with God—and I do mean alone. No telephone, no laundry, no computer, no work or church schedule, no little children (as much as I love them, they are distractions!) There just aren’t that many opportunities for quietness and aloneness in this world, and that was a great blessing.

Most importantly, I learned all over again that loving God takes complete dedication. You don’t add loving God to your list of things to do—that is the one thing to focus on, because it takes all of you. That means approaching my daily responsibilities and opportunities with the attitude of “how can I do this thing unto my Lord?”

~ Kelli
March 2010 Journey

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From day one of the Journey I was challenged to examine my heart more thoroughly than ever before. I looked into my life and I saw . . . myself. It was like going into a library filled with one subject—me. Shelves filled with volumes on my experiences and articles on my talents; walls covered with pictures of the things I’d accomplished and detailed schedules of my future. There were a few notes on what God had done in my life and a couple of pictures of the gifts He’d given me, but that was all.

To tell you the truth, I was horrified! I looked into my life and saw few evidences of real humility, Christ-like grace, or genuine love—enough to get by as being a “good Christian,” but not enough to be truly Godly. You might not have noticed it from the outside, but after discovering it, I knew, and the knowledge made me rather uncomfortable. One morning on my prayer walk around the lake in the Northwoods, I stood chewing my nails at the door of the self-library of my heart. Then I felt Jesus come up behind me and ask, “Do you believe that I can do a great work in your life?”

I said, “Sure. You can do anything.” But then God revealed one big area in which I had not trusted Him—my future. I realized that through desiring my own way for my future, I was taking it out of God’s hands and saying, “Thanks, I’ll handle this.” By being afraid of failure, I was failing to trust that He had a perfect plan for my life.

So I told God I would trust Him, no matter what. I told Him how it would be hard for me sometimes, and I asked Him to come alongside me and encourage me when I felt like I couldn’t trust Him any more. I asked Him to make His presence and love first and foremost in my mind so I’d never forget. It was so freeing, handing my future back to the Lord!

Immediately, He brought to mind part of a message Mr. Gothard had given us back at Headquarters on what a blessing it can be to give God a period of years while you are still young and single to focus on serving Him without distraction. God said to me, “I want you to give me the next four years of your life and dedicate those years to single service. I will use you fully for me, and you won’t need to worry any more about how your youth will be spent.” At first I thought, “Why? I gave you my whole life—now you’re taking any possibility of marriage within the next four years!” (Now I realize how ridiculous that excuse was . . . I’ll only be 21, after all!) But He convicted me to give Him the next four years in which to remain single, with no reservations.

I did. Once I placed that area of my life in His hands, I was filled with joy! I wanted to sing! (It’s a good thing I was alone on my walk, because I don’t have the greatest singing voice… <g>) I realized that through giving God the next four years, He would be able to create in me the person He wanted me to be. Every decision, every thought, and every idea would be placed into His caring hands. It was among the most difficult decisions I’ve ever made . . . four years is a long time! But I felt so blessed by the knowledge that He would always be there for me, I would gladly do it again if He asked me to.

Another one of the things that changed my life during the Journey was hearing God’s voice. I’d never heard Him like that before. He spoke to me personally, and I want nothing more than to experience that for the rest of my life. Psalm 25:4-5 says it very well: “Shew me thy ways, O LORD; teach me thy paths. Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day.” He speaks to us, teaches us, and shows us our way, if only we take the time to listen. I experienced His presence – a presence that I want to live in constantly.

Yet another thing that really convicted me was the message that my team leader, Madison, gave us one evening in the Northwoods. She spoke on praising God. How often do we ask Him for favors? When He comes through in small but miraculous ways, do we just say, “Oh, thanks, God!” and continue with our life? The next morning, I was reading Psalm 33:8: “Let all the earth fear the LORD: let all the inhabitants of the world stand in awe of him.”

It was like God was saying to me, “Am I awesome enough?” So many times we throw that word around. “Oh, that’s awesome!” Is it really? Synonyms for awesome include breathtaking, astonishing, and overwhelming. Wow! Is God awesome enough? That morning, I told Him He was awesome enough for me!! I purposed in my heart to praise Him for every little thing.

I came home refreshed and encouraged. I came home with a humbled, purified heart. While on my Journey, my Lord and I cleaned out my heart’s library and washed it from top to bottom. Even now, as I continue to learn more about Him, He is filling me with His radiance and inhabiting my heart as His home. I’m far from perfect. I’m far from ideal. It hasn’t been easy. But I know it will be rewarding if I lived a poured-out life for His glory alone. I went from having a life centered on my own agenda to traveling the road of Christ-likeness—an exciting and continuous Journey that will take a lifetime!

~ Hannah
March 2010 Journey

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During my personal interview with Mr. Gothard at the start of the Journey, he asked me, “On a scale 1 -10 (10 being the strongest) how would you rate your relationship with God?”

I replied, “It would be a 1.”

On the outside, I looked like a pretty nice Christian young man who had a fairly good life. On the inside, I was headed down a path leading to destruction. My life was a total mess. I had a lot of bitterness towards my parents and I was filled with anger, malice, rage, hatred, lust, immorality, and moral perversions. I believed the lie from Satan that I didn’t need anyone else . . . God or parents.  So it’s safe to say that even though I had said the “sinners prayer” before, my relationship with God was pretty much nonexistent.

To be perfectly honest with you, I really didn’t want to go on the Journey to the Heart. However, it was my dad’s desire that I go, so I submitted and decided to go with an open heart. I also determined that I wanted to find God on this Journey.

Fast forward . . . to Tuesday morning – March 31^st

This was the first day at the Northwoods, up in Michigan.  I was lying in my bed doing my quiet time and wrote a simple prayer in my journal.  The prayer went like this:

Dear God,

I want to find you!  Help me to forgive my parents, Lord.  Help me, give me the courage to confess my sins and competing affections out loud to you on this Journey!  Thank you Jesus for making it possible for me to come on this Journey.  Bless the rest of my family today Lord.  In Jesus name I pray.  Amen

I want to share a verse with you that is found in Jeremiah 29:13: “And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.” This verse is so true. Literally one hour later the Holy Spirit came upon me in a way that I have never experienced before and I just broke.  I was on my knees/face weeping before the Lord confessing every sin that I could think of out loud to God and to my other teammates. I confessed my pride, my bitterness, my anger, my lust, my immorality, everything I could think of I confessed to God.  I told God that I forgave my parents for the hurts they caused me.

I began rebuking Satan.  I told him that I didn’t want him in my life anymore and commanded him to flee.  Then I asked God to fill me with His Spirit.  Our team spent two hours of praying and confessing hidden sins to God and to one another.  I can tell you I felt a lot better after praying this prayer.  This all happened on Tuesday and it took me until Wednesday sometime to realize that God had answered every single line of that prayer that I had written down in my journal that morning.

Wednesday – April 1^st

Wednesday was a day of discussing how to get rid of the hidden sins and secret lusts (competing affections) that hinder us from fully loving God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength.  Earlier in the week we had heard the phrase:  “The power of sin is in its secrecy.”  This means that once a sin is exposed, confessed, and repented of, the sin has no more power over you.  This is why it is crucial when we confess our sins that we confess every detail of the particular sin so that Satan has nothing to fall back on. It is like when someone goes into surgery for cancer and the doctors performing the surgery must make sure they cut off every part of that tumor. Otherwise, what happens?  The tumor grows back.

Our leader, Chad, told us if there was anything we needed to confess to our parents that would be hindering our walk with the Lord, and hindering the one accord between the group, he would make it possible for us to use the phones over at the main lodge.  God had convicted me of a particular sin that I had been struggling with that I needed to confess and ask for forgiveness.

After dinner, we went over to the main lodge and I called my dad.  He wasn’t there.  I left him a message saying I had accepted Christ as my Savior and that I needed to talk to him so I would either call them back later or to just keep me accountable and ask me when I get home.  Later that night, I called again and this time I got a chance to talk with my dad and my mom.  At first I only confessed it to my dad, but I eventually decided that I needed to confess it to my mom as well.  After confessing it to both my parents and asking for their forgiveness they both said they forgave me. I am on a quest of desiring to fully confess everything to my parents and cleanse my heart of all impurities.

Before I left, I sent out a massive email asking for prayer that I would:

1. Go with an open heart
2. Meet God in supernatural way
3. Come home loving God more then I ever have before

God answered every single one of those requests! It just goes to show that if we seek God with all our hearts, we will indeed find Him.  If we seek Him, He will make Himself known to us in ways we could have never imagined.

~ Kyle
March 2009 Journey

Last year I wanted to be on a team of rebels. This year, I wanted a team of girls who all wanted to be there . . . and of course, I found out on both occasions, that God’s ways are opposite to ours, and that He knows the best thing for us.

Through a series of discipleship opportunities and many different occasions of praying for different girls, God helped me to overcome my fear of rejection from people and learn how to make Jesus my best friend. Not only did I learn how to love Jesus as a friend that sticks closer than a brother, but I learned how to disciple girls. That has been my dream ever since last year and I never had the courage to do it. I was always floating along with the tide, unable to swim against it. God gave me freedom over my fear of man on this Journey and filled me with a greater joy than ever before. Not only could I stand alone, I could do it with great joy.

During the course of the week, God answered some major prayer requests that I brought before Him and my team. He also gave me a greater love for my family and I missed them all even though I usually enjoy time to myself.

I want to be able to have an impact on girls outside of my family . . . so God laid it on my heart to first work on my ministry at home so that I will then be prepared to do that. Upon arriving home, I was overjoyed to find that my parents were giving me and my sister permission to gather a group of girls and return to the Journey in March/April. I am now looking forward to what God will do, who He will choose, and how He is going to use my life.

~ Hannah
September 2009 Girls Journey

During the hour of prayer on Thursday evening of the Mother’s Journey to the Heart, she discovered a cause—a root of bitterness toward her husband. She confessed it to God and her husband and asked God to deliver her from all of its consequences.

The next morning she woke up without a headache. This was incredible! She felt her head to see if it was really true. All that day there was no headache. However, she was afraid to tell anyone, because she thought it might return. Sunday morning she again woke up with no headache! She realized that God had healed her. Her joy was inexpressible!

Rachel’s enthusiasm and excitement grew as she told everyone about her healing. A week later her husband affirmed that no headache had occurred since that day!

It was a dark, dreary day, but at the moment I cried out I truly felt God’s peace quieting my soul. As I looked up, a bald eagle flew right over my head and the clouds parted. Beautiful, golden sunlight fell on me. It was as though God was saying, “My face is shining upon you, I will give you peace, I will give you the grace to overcome this.” And for the rest of the time that I was on the lake, I was underneath the sun whenever the clouds parted. A beautiful blue sky guided me back to shore.

I vowed to God that I would never play a video game again, listen to rock music, or look at pornography. It was so freeing! Even though I’ve already had a great love for the hymns of the faith, God has increased it much more. When we were singing them on the way to the Northwoods and together as a group they sounded so beautiful to me.

When we had the hour of prayer on Thursday, myself and the other two guys with whom I was praying ended up praying for three hours. To me, it felt like maybe half an hour at the most!!! Near the end, I felt as though  it was just God and I, Him looking down on me with His pleasure.

Throughout the week, as God revealed things I had between members of my family and myself, I called them, and felt load after load being lifted from my shoulders. I called my father, and asked his forgiveness for leaving him out of my life, and I told him I truly wanted a closer relationship with him. I asked both him and my mother forgiveness for having a bitter spirit toward them, my brother for having a prideful attitude toward him.

And come Saturday night, when we were all praying together, I sensed God’s presence in a way I never imagined possible! I praise God for every single one who let God have His way that night!

I was impressed with the need to do whatever it takes to go all out for God, nothing held back. When we truly have that desire to do so, God will open doors before us and show us things we never imagined possible! (See Romans 11:33; 2 Peter 1:4.) When we truly seek His face, we WILL hear His still small voice leading and guiding us (Psalm 43:3; Isaiah 30:21).

It was that Saturday night that God really and truly broke me of my pride, and showed me that without Him I can do nothing, that through Him I am who I am, and when I labor, it is not in vain! (See 1 Corinthians 15:10, 58.) Through His strength in us we can bear fruit! (See John 15:8; Galatians 6:9.) Praise God!

When I saw others pouring out their hearts out to God and crying, I couldn’t help crying out with them (my spiritual gift is mercy, as well as servant). It was at that moment that we all knew in our hearts that God had truly knit us all together. We all exchanged long, tearful hugs, and gathered outside on the lobby balcony, talking about how awesome it was to feel God’s presence moving SO powerfull!! In Andrew’s words, “It was amazing to see all these guys choosing prayer over food for a time.” Yes it was, Andrew, for our true food is to do the will of our Father! (See John 4:34.)

It was SO incredibly awesome to see all of us to go from casual acquaintances to close, one-accord friendships with each other, and ultimately, with God, as the week progressed! Friendships built on mutual trust and a common goal of gaining a powerful, intimate walk with God! It was so humbling to see all these young guys putting their all on the altar, confessing their faults to each other!

At the beginning of the Journey, the radiant faces, the enthusiasm, the deeper spirituality, all of it seemed a bit foreign to me, and I had a jealousy and resentment. I felt like, “How can they be that way? What am I missing?” By the end of the Journey my resentment had turned into rejoicing along with them in the majesty, glory, honor and power and infinite wisdom and power of God’s never-ending love!

I cannot live without Him.

~ Jonathan
July 2009 Guys Journey

When I survey the wondrous cross
on which the prince of glory died,
my richest gain I count but loss,
and pour contempt on all my pride.

When Nicole heard about the Journey to the Heart, she wanted to go. However, she purposed that she would not get rid of her eating disorder, nor would she forgive the trusted family friend who had deeply offended her a year earlier and triggered her food addiction.

During the Journey orientation, she learned how to have a whole new response to the one who had offended her. This included asking God to bless that person with the qualities that he was obviously missing, such as repentance, truthfulness, self-control, genuine love, etc.

While on the July 2009 Girls’ Journey, Nicole was impacted as she learned about a fearful heart. She learned that the power of sin is in its secrecy, and she had to call home and confess to her parents what she was doing and why she was doing it.

She was fearful because she did not think that her parents would understand. However, the very next day the one who had offended her called up and confessed what he had done—a year earlier. This was an amazing evidence of God’s response to the verbal blessing of Nicole.

Since the Journey, Nicole has not only experienced great freedom in being open with her parents, but she no longer has the urge to continue her eating disorder.

A doctor interviewed Nicole and exclaimed, “To the medical world, it would be a miracle to instantly stop the kind of eating disorder that Nicole had.”

August 19th one year ago marks the largest turning point in my life. It was on that day that, while on a Journey to the Heart, God pulled on my heart and convicted me to call my earthly father about a sin I had been hiding for years. In my journal that day, I wrote two sentences:

“August 19th, 2008: On this day, I begin a new path towards moral freedom.”

“O God who made these trees, let this moment be the title page of a new beginning.”

Little did I know how much God would fulfill those two statements of my heart. His method was simple: take my life, flip it upside down, and shake me out. Then flip me back over and fill my cup with His presence—His continual presence. Here are the three major areas He has affected the most in my life.

God’s Word is Living

Prior to Journey to the Heart, I never read my Bible. Never. I didn’t want to. I felt nothing when I did, and seriously doubted its inerrancy. I read many books on why the Bible was reliable, but the more I read, the more I doubted it. I liked Aquinas and Plato better, who gave logical reasons for what they stated, as opposed to the Apostle Paul’s way of stating spiritual matters as facts without any backing but Jesus’ work on the cross.

While as Journey to the heart, I discovered why the Bible is trusted by so many: it speaks to man’s heart. Read the Psalms and the words of Jesus, and one sees a depth that touches the weaknesses of man’s humanity like no psychologist ever could.

God’s Way of Life is Freedom

One year ago, I could have written St. Augustine word for word:

“But I was an unhappy young man, wretched as at the beginning of my adolescence when I prayed you for chastity and said: ‘Grant me chastity and continence, but not yet.’ I was afraid you might hear my prayer quickly, and that you might too rapidly heal me of the disease of lust which I preferred to satisfy rather than suppress.”
(Confessions, VIII. vii)

Yet right now, comparing now to a year ago, I cannot remember the last time I lusted like I had before Journey. I cannot take any credit for this at all. It is an uphill struggle every day, and it takes but a moment to fall. But most of all God has remained faithful to me, in turning my heart towards Him and away from the lusts of the flesh. He has taught me His way of freedom, to live for Him and not for myself.

My father calls this concept the “spit-in-the-face theory” while the Apostle Paul calls it “dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.” The concept is the same: what I do is not conditioned upon what others do to me or what I want to do, but only upon what Christ has said is best to do. If someone shows me love, I show them love back because Christ commands it. If someone spits in my face, I show them love back because Christ commands it. My identity, and therefore my actions, aren’t circumstantial to this world, because my Master isn’t in this world, only in me.

God’s Presence is Salvation

As I mentioned earlier, before Journey to the Heart I didn’t read my Bible at all. Now, I feel I cannot get enough of it. Any time I miss a quiet time, God has a practical method for reminding me to seek Him and not earthly pleasures. The more time I spend in the word, especially in memorization and mediation, the more God reveals to me His truths.

Yet, faith is not religious belief in what we cannot understand, but the putting in action what we believe (see Hebrews 11). I cannot count the times in the past year God has tapped me on the shoulder and said, “You are a follower of Christ, Tim. You must live like one.” Only a few weeks after Journey, my computer crashed and I lost a lot of important files. Normally I would have put my fist through the nearest wall in frustration. But this time I felt a strange peace. I knew that God was still in control.

In front of my dying computer, I committed the outcome of whatever happened to God and determined to learn what God was trying to teach me through this occurrence. And He did teach me. I learned an amazing truth: when one looks for God in everything, one can always find Him and understand why His will is what it is.

Tim on a ministry trip to Malaysia with a young friend named Venyeshe

So many times over the last year these kinds of lesson has been pounded into me by God. Sometimes the lessons are painful, sometimes they bring great joy. But through it all, God has been faithful in His presence in my life, as He teaches me about faith, hope, and love.

Journey to the Heart, for me, was the beginning of a discovery, the discovery of God. This day is special to me because it marked not the beginning of a Journey, but the end of one, my search for full fellowship with God. Many more things have happened that have not been given here, and many more will happen yet. “I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

~ Tim
August 2008 Guys’ Journey