Living the Journey

Before I went to the Journey, I was withdrawn from other people and felt alone inside. My relationship with Christ was distant and not anywhere near where it should be. I had been abused for several years during my childhood and had stuffed the pain deep down inside, building a callous around my heart. I didn’t allow myself to show any emotion and had even forgotten how to cry.

Many other people had tried to help me, so when one of the Journey leaders pulled me aside, I expected her to tell me what I already knew and just deal with the symptoms. Little did I know that God was going to show Himself strong on my behalf and lead me out of this bondage of bitterness, anger, fear, confusion, lustful thoughts, and the wrong view of God which had resulted from my hurtful past.

Satan had fed me a lie that God was both good and bad. God showed me that He is good. He didn’t want bad things to happen to me. Sin caused the bad to happen, but God’s grace could turn that into something good.

God had really never left me. Oh, what unfathomable love I discovered in Christ! A love that told me of my worth to Him, a love that hurt with me, that cried with me. Oh yes! Jesus went through those hard days right with me—I was blinded and shut Him out, but now I was able to see. He was turning it all into good! I forgave my offenders and asked the Lord to help me to see them as He did. It surprised me how easy the tears came after years of bottling everything up inside. When He filled me with a love for them, I could not see their shortcomings anymore. Surely love covers a multitude of sin!

Then our team studied the “Tender Heart.” God broke me with the answer to the question, “Why Did God Let it Happen?” As the Lord revealed to my spirit from His Spirit, I began to write down the benefits of what I had been through. By the time I finished, I was in complete awe of my Lord Jesus Christ. He had captured my heart with His love, wisdom, peace, and amazing grace.

I ran to my leader with a heart full of thanksgiving, so happy that I laughed and cried at the same time. I had given my whole heart to Christ and was free from bondage. I am free! God is truly my All in All and the Lover of my Soul. Thank you, Lord, for everyone at the Journey, and thank you for showing me who Jesus wants me to be!

~ Barbara
September 2008 Girl’s Journey

6 Comments »

I didn’t have any real sense of God’s power. I didn’t read the Bible very much and strongly doubted its infallibility. Dabbles in systematic theology and Christian philosophy had left me cynical toward Christianity—God wasn’t a power in my life, merely something to be put into a logic formula or defined by a set of verses.

At the Journey to the Heart, away from all the noise and distraction of the world, I began to see God’s power through the individuals around me. They could pray with such power! Speaking blessings to each other and crying out to God had real meaning! At first I thought it was showy, extravagant zeal—as if like the priests of Baal, we were dancing and cutting ourselves on an altar for a god who wouldn’t really work the way we asked him to.

But when our group started to talk about secret sins and several of my teammates gave testimonies about how freeing it was to talk to their parents about their struggles, I felt the conviction of the Holy Spirit and called my father to repent of something I had hid from him for three years. The freedom I felt was amazing! I couldn’t describe it, yet it was so real.

The next day our team got with another team to pray for a young man who felt he needed to call his parents concerning a secret sin. As we prayed together in one accord, I felt God’s Spirit pour out grace, humility, and strength, not only on the young man in the center of our circle but on all of us. I began to cry as I realized what I had been missing: God was real!

Over the next few days the Word of God became living to me. I now understand how easy it is to trust God: His Word explains the world better than any human reasoning and gives our lives principles to live by that are so true and cannot be found elsewhere.

I am so thankful for the opportunity to discover the power of the God of my Salvation at this journey!

~ Tim
August 2008 Guys Journey

3 Comments »

When I came on the Journey to the Heart my goal was to draw closer to God. I thought I was a pretty good person and didn’t really need to study the wrong heart attitudes. But God knew differently, and He really convicted me of my pride towards my siblings. I had thought I was so much better then them and made them respect me by my unkind words. I would pray asking God to change my siblings. I asked God to humble them and take their pride away, but wasn’t willing myself to ask forgiveness and make things right.

I was on my face before God with my team and we were all confessing sins. God just totally convicted me and opened my eyes to how by my pride I had caused deep wounds. I cried out to God to forgive me and asked Him to keep my intellect from ruling my life and instead allow Him to be on the throne. It was very humbling to tell the other girls on my team how prideful I had been. God then was able to show me why I had the fear of rejection in my life and I was able through Scripture to conquer that fear. He also gave me a new freedom in Him I had never had before. My devotions before I came had been dry and like a routine, but now I am excited to talk with Him every morning and receive many new insights from His Word.

~ Kaye
June 2008 Girls’ Journey

1 Comment »

As I came away from this Journey to the Heart, I was a little worried. I didn’t feel a whole lot different than when I had gone.  Had I just wasted a week and a half of my life?  Was I really too far gone to be responsive to the Lord?  Sure, I had asked for anointing, but was that because everyone else was doing it?  But now, two days after coming home, I do indeed see what God has done in me.

First, God healed my thought life.  I hadn’t noticed the change, because I simply wasn’t thinking the thoughts I had been struggling with.  They had disappeared so completely that I forgot that they even existed in the first place.

Second, a desire to meditate and study came over me, and a sense of the futility of the pleasures of this world.  The company I work for hosts a picnic with all sorts of games every July.  But this year, as I wandered around, I felt the emptiness of it all.  I felt extremely bored and wished I had brought my Bible so I could study it.

Third, I am really excited about the work of God and His people.  I want to get involved in an even deeper way than before.  I want to have good Christian fellowship every day.  I enjoy discussing God’s Word and His Work with fellow believers.

I wish that all of my friends would go on a Journey.  I am eager to go again and see how much deeper I can dive into God’s Word.  But in the mean while, I will keep meditating.  This Journey was a springboard for me, and I intend to keep growing.

~ Allen
July 2008 Guys’ Journey

4 Comments »

As a child, I felt a lot of rejection from my family. Though they showed me lots of affection, they were very busy with many other things. I sought for that affection in other ways, lost my trust in my Dad, and became very independent and rebellious. I told myself that I was tough enough to make my way in the world and refused to ever cry or talk about my problems. Pain built up because I had no way to let it out in a controlled fashion. I became bitter, felt rejection easily, and reacted to my sister and my parents.

I came on the Journey and promised myself I would not change. When I arrived I looked for people like me, but God gave me a team with strong godly girls who pulled me up. One night we watched the Father’s Love Letter. I was trying not to cry when my friend encouraged me to be open with God. I prayed with her and then felt the Lord prompting me to go talk to my sister, who is younger then I. We were able to resolve deep-rooted conflicts and I was free to surrender to the Lord the biggest thing that was competing with my love for Him. I now have a new freedom and sense of fearlessness!

~ Hannah
June 2008 Girls Journey

2 Comments »

It is so vital to stay in the Word daily and to meditate on Scripture…not just read, but meditate. I’ve been talking to my dad a lot and he’s been keeping me accountable. It is amazing how much freedom one gains when they surrender areas of their life that they do not want anyone to know about. Those secret sins are what keep people in bondage. Even those who are Christians who do not surrender to authority will remain in bondage to sin.

I’ve grown up in ATI and have heard the message spoken about how important it is to surrender to your authorities on several occasions, but refused to let the Lord use it in my life. I thought I could make it through on my own without my parents. I always told myself, “It’s just me and God…just trust in Him.” Satan wanted me to believe I was all alone and that I should not trust the authority of my parents because it would make me look like a horrible sinner, which is exactly what I am anyway. Satan had me believing that I could break the habits on my own. I truly thought I could separate myself from my sin without assistance, yet the whole time I was falling deeper and deeper into more sin.

But I forgot the rest of the puzzle that God commands of us, so no matter what I did or said the sin weighed even more heavily on my soul. The last piece is complete surrender to Godly authority. In Romans 6 Paul said, “What shall we say then, shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? God forbid. How shall we that are dead to sin live any longer therein?” I understood this with my mind, but not in my heart, and therefore could not apply it to my life. But now, in freedom from sin because I am under the authority of my parents, I have the freedom to live in the grace that God provided.

~ Drew
June 2008 Guys Journey

3 Comments »