Riane actually did not want to come on this Journey because she knew there were things in her life that were blocking her relationship with the Lord. On this Journey, God showed her a truth that brought her to the point of complete surrender.
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Download MP3 (3 min)
~ Riane
May 2010 Journey
This past week concluded my second Journey to the Heart. God met me unexpectedly the first day. I suddenly became aware of what had been holding me back from fully experiencing God’s power! As a young child, I had been rejected/pushed away by my parents, and although they had confessed and repented of this many times, I had harbored a lot of bitterness towards them and many others who had hurt me deeply over the years.
When I was younger, there had also been a struggle between my parents in their marriage, which had caused me to cut off my spirit from them, to build up walls of defense, and to suffer asthma and nightmares from my fears. I had sought acceptance in other people and possessions, which had caused me to not only lack the trust I needed for my parents, but to hold back from fully trusting God.
As this realization dawned upon me, I broke down and wept on the floor where we had all knelt to pray in groups of 3 or 4. My team leader, sensing that God was doing a work in my heart, led me away to talk in private. Over the course of the next 2 hours, she helped me identify 30 lies I believed, 20 painful memories I was suffering from, and 5 different fears that were affecting my health.
That day my eyes were opened to the bondage that I had been in for so many years. I experienced a new freedom as I prayed asking God to take back the ground I had surrendered. I was able to fully forgive my offenders and to develop a new love for them, and a desire to serve and bless them!
This amazing event set the stage for the rest of my Journey! I found that my heart was open to examination as I studied the different heart conditions. I was able to pray for others with a whole new love for them! I saw God use me to encourage and disciple many other girls throughout the time there, and to cry out to Him without fear of what others would think. There was a whole new awareness of His promptings, and the ability to hear His voice like never before! Most of all, I learned to understand the pain of others who were in similar bondage to what I had been in.
God showed me how to understand the hurts of another and to care for them! He broke me one night as I was spending time alone with Him under the stars. I wept for a girl I had known who was experiencing much more than I had ever experienced, but was held by the chains I had been in.
Throughout the week, as I observed the beauty of the colorful leaves on the trees, I was reminded continually by our team leader that the leaves were beautiful, yet they were dying! I saw that just as dying leaves are more beautiful than those that are alive, so we as believers are required to die to self and to be on fire for the Lord, in order to achieve the greatest beauty.
continue reading… 
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Download MP3 (5 min)
I came to the Journey knowing that there were struggles in my life that needed to be resolved. At the top of the list was my bitterness towards my father.
Before we left Headquarters for the Northwoods, I was challenged to give the expectations I had of my father to the Lord. I was also encouraged to find ten benefits from my situation . . . then a few more . . . and I needed to ask the Lord to bless my father with the character qualities he was lacking.
I wasn’t too sure I could think of that many benefits, but as I went outside to spend some time alone, one benefit in particular kept taking over my thoughts. The Lord God Almighty—the Creator of heaven and earth and my Heavenly Father—was teaching me to fully rely on Him for the security, comfort, acceptance, love, and everything else that my heart desired so greatly. He was the only one who could fulfill those roles completely. As I began to ask the Lord to bless my father, a huge weight left me.
On Tuesday, our team spent the morning outside enjoying the beauty of God’s creation and studying about the murmuring heart. I was very convicted and later called home to ask my father’s forgiveness.
For many years I had experienced doubts about my salvation, which were probably a result of the bitterness I had been harboring. Now that this bitterness was resolved, I had a renewed impression upon my heart to get rebaptized.
I understood that baptism is not necessary for salvation. However, I realized that if I humbled myself through this baptism and openly acknowledged that Jesus Christ was the Lord of my life (no matter what others might think), then my doubts would leave.
I talked over the phone with my parents and they both said it would be fine, although my mom strongly urged me to pray for a rhema. During our day of delighting in the Lord I was seeking a really special verse, but the only verse that I felt impressed to meditate on was Proverbs 30:5. To be honest, I didn’t exactly see the relevance of this particular verse. However, my team listened to Jim Sammons share about meditating on one verse each week, so this became my verse.
When Saturday morning came and still I didn’t seem to have a rhema, or so I thought, I prayed and gave the whole request to God, since it seemed that I had run out of time. Right before the meeting that night, my team leader asked if I was getting baptized. I said that I didn’t think so . . . but God does amazing things!
During the meeting, Bob Norvell shared how to continue living what we had learned during the journey. Close to the end, he started quoting a verse. It was Proverbs 30:5: “Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.” It seemed Mr. Norvell was looking straight at me during the whole verse. Then the Lord said to me, “There you go. This is your answer. Trust me and be baptized.” Wow! I was very nervous, but He kept assuring me, “I am a shield to those who trust in Me.’”
So that night I was baptized at the lake, under the stars, and as I came up and walked out of the water the Lord took away all of those doubts and fears! Hallelujah, praise His name!!
~ Crystal
July 2009 Girls’ Journey
Nicole closely guarded her secret for a whole year! Three times a day she would eat a meal, and three times a day she would purge it from her stomach. At first she felt guilty, but soon it became a normal part of her day.
When Nicole heard about the Journey to the Heart, she wanted to go. However, she purposed that she would not get rid of her eating disorder, nor would she forgive the trusted family friend who had deeply offended her a year earlier and triggered her food addiction.
During the Journey orientation, she learned how to have a whole new response to the one who had offended her. This included asking God to bless that person with the qualities that he was obviously missing, such as repentance, truthfulness, self-control, genuine love, etc.
While on the July 2009 Girls’ Journey, Nicole was impacted as she learned about a fearful heart. She learned that the power of sin is in its secrecy, and she had to call home and confess to her parents what she was doing and why she was doing it.
She was fearful because she did not think that her parents would understand. However, the very next day the one who had offended her called up and confessed what he had done—a year earlier. This was an amazing evidence of God’s response to the verbal blessing of Nicole.
Since the Journey, Nicole has not only experienced great freedom in being open with her parents, but she no longer has the urge to continue her eating disorder.
A doctor interviewed Nicole and exclaimed, “To the medical world, it would be a miracle to instantly stop the kind of eating disorder that Nicole had.”
It’s 12:00 am. I lay staring at my computer. Just minutes ago I was startled awake by what? I have no idea. After tossing and turning for several minutes, I found it impossible to go back to sleep while talking to God, so I decided to get up and document this part of my spiritual journey.
I had the realization in church tonight that all I really do is live for me. I live for the ‘Brooke’ on the outside, not for the Brooke God desires me to be. Tonight instead of just bringing about conviction in my spirit, God gave me a picture. I’m not sure yet that I totally like it, but it’s a reality check, a spiritual reality check and as hard as it is, it’s good for me. I know I need it.
I’ve known the meaning of my name forever, the name Brooke means ‘to go forth in a small way across the face of the earth.’ I know that a brook is something full of gentleness, nothing to be afraid of, a refreshment that brings joy, good memories, and a sense of contentment. What I have found recently though, is that I am doing just that—for myself!
There are a couple of commandments that most of us are familiar with, and would most likely say that we never break—you know, like ‘thou shalt have no other gods before me.’ Well, surprise, surprise, I have committed idolatry; sometimes even almost blatantly. I don’t really know why I do it. I desire to serve God, but sometimes my desire to please myself is so much greater!
I have taken no time for God lately while I spend hours on myself. I spend at least 30 minutes a day grooming myself (most days longer), countless hours working or in school and a few pleasurable hours reading books. Is anything wrong with these activities? No, I really don’t think so, but the thing that is wrong is that I am totally leaving God out of my life. Sure, I still pray, I read the Bible, but I have not been putting God first. I have failed in my commitment to God and I am miserable. I am worn out. I am tired. And my family would attest that I am a little more than grumpy. A pretty far cry from what I am called and desire to be.
I want to do great things with my life. I want to be a Gladys Alward, a D.L. Moody, a Fanny Crosby, an Amy Carmichael, a person who does great things and make great sacrifices for God. I want to be a place of refreshment and joy for those around me, but I am not doing that.
A couple of years ago, I was in New Zealand and witnessed a huge flood that washed through the town of Marton. The stream that flowed through the property was full of trash, mud and impurities. It was an incredible thing to see. This is how I feel I have allowed my life to become. I cannot be refreshing to anyone because I am not pure, I am not clean. My life is cluttered. There’s trash and contaminants in my soul.
For many years I struggled with bitterness towards several people who had deeply offended my family. As a result, I had grown apathetic towards God and unconcerned for others. Conflicts often resulted because of my pride. Seeing the spiritual needs in my life, my parents encouraged me to take some time to seek the Lord on a Journey of the Heart.
As I flipped through the pages of the Journey manual, I didn’t think that I was guilty of any of the bad heart conditions that were explained in it. As the days went by, however, I became more and more convinced of just how sinful I had been. Not only did I have a prideful and murmuring heart towards God’s people, I also had an adulterous heart. Through salvation I had entered a covenant marriage relationship with Jesus Christ, but I had allowed other relationships to compete with my love for him. I had been expecting benefits from these relationships that only God could give, such as security, direction, and fulfillment in life. I had set this idol in my heart and depended more on it then I did on God.
I immediately asked God for forgiveness. I gave Him my competing affections so that nothing could take my attention from Him again. I confessed everything to my parents. The hardest thing was asking forgiveness of those whom I had been bitter toward and verbally blessing them. For the first time I felt a joy and love towards them. My relationship with God has been completely restored!
Now I have completely surrendered my heart, soul, mind and strength to God’s will. I will not let any competing affection come between me and Him. I will delight in Him and Him alone.
~ Natalie
Journey to the Heart is a 10-day retreat founded by Rev. Dr. Bill Gothard of the Institute of Basic Life Principles. Each group of about 10-15 . . . 
A Journey to the Heart is 10 days to get alone with God and seek Him. It is an opportunity for young people . . .©2008 Robert Staddon. Design by Abundant Designs
Recent Comments