Living the Journey

In September of 2007, I boarded a plane headed for Chicago and a Journey to the Heart. It was there that God did a work in my heart that changed my life. He showed me just how fearful of a heart I had. I had a fear of what other people thought of me that would control my words and actions when I was around them. This became the controlling force of my life, rather than what God thought of me. The Lord helped me to see the severe consequences of having a fearful heart, and what a hindrance it was to being an effective soldier of Jesus Christ

One night, our team experienced intense spiritual warfare and we sensed that Satan was attacking us with fear. I got on my knees with the rest of my group and earnestly cried out to God to take away my fear. The amazing happened. I immediately felt a peace, a freedom, and a joy inside! I was thrilled! I felt so free from that bondage!

I did not at all expect the tremendous results that would come. In the days, months, and years that followed, God opened up so many opportunities to make an eternal impact in the lives of others. I was able to reach out to others and talk to them without fear of what they thought of me. It was incredible! I was free to do God’s will. Free to be used for His service. Free to obey the Holy Spirit’s promptings. It grieved me to see how, for so many years, my fear had hindered me from being used of God; from being an available vessel for Him. How many opportunities I must have missed to reach into the lives of others, all because of my fear of man.

Never would I have dreamed that exactly two years and one day after I attended the Journey, I would board a plane for Oklahoma to spend ten weeks making an impact in the lives of many children there. During our heart preparation at Eagle Springs, God again convicted me of my fear of man. I was challenged to live AUG – Approved Unto God. (See Proverbs 29:25, II Timothy 2:15.)

One day before Bible club, I noticed a girl sitting alone while everyone else was playing. Upon going over to talk to her, I asked what the best thing was that had happened to her that day. Without missing a beat, she said, “When the church people came.” (We would go door-to-door picking up the kids for club. This girl evidently viewed us as ‘church people’.) I was caught by surprise as I was certainly not expecting that as an answer! For some of the kids, we were their only hope of something better. We were the bright spot in their day. We were the ones that cared enough to love and reach out to them with the love of Christ. Had I had a fear of man, I would have pushed away the Holy Spirit’s prompting and would have lost an opportunity to share His love with this girl.

As I further talked with her, I discovered that she was rejected by her friends at school and was very hurt by that. I was able to share with her from personal experience how I had found a true Friend in Jesus. The very next week, this little girl was gloriously saved! Through all the training, the work, the loss of sleep, and inconveniences, nothing can be compared to the rewards of investing in these young lives. I can truly say it was worth it all!

My time in Oklahoma teaching truth in the public schools and doing after-school Bible clubs was a growing time and a stretching experience. When I stop relying on God and fail to look to Him alone for approval, I soon fear man rather than the Maker.

God is continuing to do a work in my heart. What I experienced on my Journey was not a one-time thing. It is an on-going process. My Maker is continuing to mold me and develop in me His perfect love that casts away all fear.

~ Sarah
September 2007 Journey

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If you are interested in an opportunity to invest in the lives of children, please send a quick note to Chad Christiansen.

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Ever since my baptism last August, I had been striving to draw closer to God on a daily basis. Yet, at that point, I didn’t realize that I had allowed some affections to creep into my life and compete with my love for God. It wasn’t until this past September when I went on a Journey to the Heart that I was able to get alone with God and hear His voice as to what He had in mind for my life.

In Bill Gothard’s Basic Seminar, he describes a new perspective on fully dedicating your life to Christ. He uses the illustration of a room with everything inside representing the things that you do in your life. This might include each activity you have become involved in or every subject that you’ve mastered. In this illustration, when you become a new Christian and dedicate your “life” to Christ, it is like you are  inviting Him to come into the room and allowing Him the freedom to have control of all the aspects of your life. Let’s say there is a box in the room for each of your accomplishments. If there is something that you want to hold on to and don’t want you new Roommate to know about or take away, you might build a closet, put the box on the top shelf out of reach, and lock the door. Then, you really aren’t giving God everything because you are still withholding that one little box in your closet!

As I was searching my heart, trying to figure out if there was any particular area in my life that I had not yet surrendered to God, He revealed to me an area where I had allowed myself to be in control. At first, I was unwilling to give this up because it wasn’t all bad. Just some of it was, so the good outweighs the bad and makes it ok to live with, right? Wrong!

I argued back and forth with God about it, and finally agreed to give it all to Him. I was able to discover that God wants to be the center of my life, and I need to be willing to let Him be in control of all aspects of my life, including my future.  The Lord showed me that He is my fulfillment; He is all that I will ever need to be happy. He also revealed to me that now is the perfect time for me to focus on serving the Lord through my current responsibilities.

I Corinthians 7:34-35 says – “The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.”

These verses prompted me to rededicate myself to focus on serving the Lord rather than pleasing myself. That alone has been life-changing for me, and now I am able to fully trust God to care for everything I will ever need or want! As challenging as it was, after I completely surrendered everything to God, I was finally able to experience true peace in my spirit.

In closing, I will just share one of the verses that suck out to me during this time of my life: Psalm 126:2-3: “Then our mouth was filled with laughter and our tongue with joyful shouting; then they said among the nations, ‘The Lord has done great things for them.’ The Lord has done great things for us, and we are glad.” Yes, God has done an awesome work in my life, and I am very glad!

~ Grace
September 2009 Journey

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I arrived in Oklahoma a little scared and uncertain. I had gone on a Journey several months before, and there God had opened my eyes to sin and rebellion that had been in my heart for a long time. I had then become convicted like never before. I told God I would follow Him wherever He wanted me to go. Several months later, someone suggested I go to teach character in the Oklahoma public schools.

I had all kinds of objections. One was, “I’m not qualified; I’ve never even been in a public school.” Another was, “I’m not worthy to teach character. I’m the last one to tell others about self-control and other character qualities.” A third was, “The kids will think I’m stupid.” Having all these fears, you can see why I was scared and uncertain when I came to Oklahoma. But I had decided to follow God’s leading.

While I was there, God did the impossible. He made me into someone who could teach and reach others for Him. He gave me a good relationship with Him. I cannot count the times I had no idea what to say in a situation, but after a short prayer, the words came to me. In Bible club, the Lord gave me two fifth grade boys that were trouble makers. I had no idea what I was going to do. I kept loving and praying for them and tried not to give up, but I was at my wits end with their annoying antics. Yet by the end of the year, they not only were cooperative, but they were listening and learning as well. My relationship with them is proof that I can trust God in any circumstance.

This is the greatest thing I learned there: I can trust God! Every time I had given something to God, I would end up taking it back: music, movies, TV, friends, you name it; I couldn’t seem to let anything go for good. I realized the reality was I didn’t believe God. I didn’t believe He was greater than all these worldly things or that He could make my life fun without them. But God proved to me that I could trust Him with everything in my life, and the end result would be greater then anything I could possibly have imagined.

Do I still make wrong choices and go back to old things? Yes. But my whole outlook has changed! I am learning things from the Bible I never knew, and my walk with God is better than it has ever been before. Going on the Journey was the first stepping stone to a whole new life, a life that was not ruled by my earthly desires, but by the Lord’s guidance and direction.

~ Paul
November 2007 Journey

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If you are interested in an opportunity to invest in the lives of children, please send a quick note to Chad Christiansen.

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Last year in June I attended my first Journey, during which I had suicidal depression and was in rebellion to my authorities. God used the first Journey to change my life . . . and this second one to help me to overcome several major fears. I have been petrified of people, rejection, public speaking, and standing alone for the longest time.

Last year I wanted to be on a team of rebels. This year, I wanted a team of girls who all wanted to be there . . . and of course, I found out on both occasions, that God’s ways are opposite to ours, and that He knows the best thing for us.

Through a series of discipleship opportunities and many different occasions of praying for different girls, God helped me to overcome my fear of rejection from people and learn how to make Jesus my best friend. Not only did I learn how to love Jesus as a friend that sticks closer than a brother, but I learned how to disciple girls. That has been my dream ever since last year and I never had the courage to do it. I was always floating along with the tide, unable to swim against it. God gave me freedom over my fear of man on this Journey and filled me with a greater joy than ever before. Not only could I stand alone, I could do it with great joy.

During the course of the week, God answered some major prayer requests that I brought before Him and my team. He also gave me a greater love for my family and I missed them all even though I usually enjoy time to myself.

I want to be able to have an impact on girls outside of my family . . . so God laid it on my heart to first work on my ministry at home so that I will then be prepared to do that. Upon arriving home, I was overjoyed to find that my parents were giving me and my sister permission to gather a group of girls and return to the Journey in March/April. I am now looking forward to what God will do, who He will choose, and how He is going to use my life.

~ Hannah
September 2009 Girls Journey

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This past week concluded my second Journey to the Heart. God met me unexpectedly the first day. I suddenly became aware of what had been holding me back from fully experiencing God’s power! As a young child, I had been rejected/pushed away by my parents, and although they had confessed and repented of this many times, I had harbored a lot of bitterness towards them and many others who had hurt me deeply over the years.

When I was younger, there had also been a struggle between my parents in their marriage, which had caused me to cut off my spirit from them, to build up walls of defense, and to suffer asthma and nightmares from my fears. I had sought acceptance in other people and possessions, which had caused me to not only lack the trust I needed for my parents, but to hold back from fully trusting God.

The Breaking Point

As this realization dawned upon me, I broke down and wept on the floor where we had all knelt to pray in groups of 3 or 4. My team leader, sensing that God was doing a work in my heart, led me away to talk in private. Over the course of the next 2 hours, she helped me identify 30 lies I believed, 20 painful memories I was suffering from, and 5 different fears that were affecting my health.

That day my eyes were opened to the bondage that I had been in for so many years. I experienced a new freedom as I prayed asking God to take back the ground I had surrendered. I was able to fully forgive my offenders and to develop a new love for them, and a desire to serve and bless them!

Dying Leaves are More Beautiful

This amazing event set the stage for the rest of my Journey! I found that my heart was open to examination as I studied the different heart conditions. I was able to pray for others with a whole new love for them! I saw God use me to encourage and disciple many other girls throughout the time there, and to cry out to Him without fear of what others would think. There was a whole new awareness of His promptings, and the ability to hear His voice like never before! Most of all, I learned to understand the pain of others who were in similar bondage to what I had been in.

God showed me how to understand the hurts of another and to care for them! He broke me one night as I was spending time alone with Him under the stars. I wept for a girl I had known who was experiencing much more than I had ever experienced, but was held by the chains I had been in.

Throughout the week, as I observed the beauty of the colorful leaves on the trees, I was reminded continually by our team leader that the leaves were beautiful, yet they were dying! I saw that just as dying leaves are more beautiful than those that are alive, so we as believers are required to die to self and to be on fire for the Lord, in order to achieve the greatest beauty.
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In June, my sister and I were privileged to serve as leaders for one of the Journey teams. Right before the time of prayer and anointing for greater works, Mr. Gothard mentioned that he wanted to pray for my  health. I was puzzled as to why he felt led to pray for my health. I’m basically healthy; however, for more than 10 years I’ve struggled with heart palpitations called premature ventricular contractions (PVCs).

I knew I had allowed these heart palpitations to bring great fear into my life, even though my cardiologist has told me they do not harm your heart and you cannot die from them. I used to experience just a few a day, but over the past several years, my tendency to have them has increased. I’ve experienced days at a time with PVCs every minute. It can be emotionally draining and frustrating. I wasn’t sure what God was going to do through the special anointing session and time of prayer, but I had great peace in confessing my fears and yielding completely to His will.

After the time of prayer I was encouraged, and the day we left to go home, my heart seemed to be doing great. After I returned home I experienced a few… then they subsided. About a week later, they came on in full force. I was really discouraged. God reminded me that true joy could be experienced even in the midst of disappointment. I needed to trust God to work all this for good. One of my favorite verses over the past couple months has been Psalm 94:18-19:

If I say, “My foot is slipping,” Your loyal love, O Lord, supports me. When worries threaten to overwhelm me, Your soothing touch makes me HAPPY.

In His faithfulness, God reminded me that He was in control of my life and all that happens to me. I realized that if He was allowing the heart palpitations, it was for a reason—to grow my character! Whatever His plans are for my life, they are what I desire. I resolved not to allow the PVCs to steal my joy and hope in Him—that would only delight the enemy.

Since coming to those realizations, I’ve been amazed by the calm and steady heart beat God has blessed me with! I can’t explain it except by the grace and power of our God. It is truly miraculous to go throughout my day, to even sit here and type this out, without feeling any weird thuds from my heart!

God doesn’t always answer our prayers with a yes, but in His great love and mercy, He has strengthened my faith by doing the miraculous and unexpected in my life. Through all of this, He’s taught me that He will supply us with the grace, confidence, and peace to continue through challenging circumstances. He has the power to change our circumstances! He wants us to be totally dependent on Him so that we might see HIS GLORY manifested in our lives.

Yes, nothing is impossible with God (Luke 1:37)! The one who fears the Lord… is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord. His heart is steady; he will not be afraid (Psalm 112:7-8).

~Jennifer Lavin
June 2009 Girl’s Journey

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