Posts Tagged ‘Bitterness’

My Life—A Miracle of God’s Love

The fact that Libby was even born was an amazing miracle in and of itself. In this moving life story, she shares not only how God orchestrated the events that brought her into the world, but also how He dramatically delivered her entire family from the bondage of Satan’s lies.

Libby shared the following audio testimony with this last girls Journey right before they headed up to the Northwoods to seek the Lord.

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~ Libby
November 2007 Journey

“The Coolest Joy Ever”

Trina knew from her last Journey what it was like to get away and spend ten days with the Lord. This second Journey ended up being even better than the first one as she came to an even deeper level of joy in her relationship with the Lord.

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~ Trina
May 2010 Journey

Something Was Blocking the Brightness

Riane actually did not want to come on this Journey because she knew there were things in her life that were blocking her relationship with the Lord. On this Journey, God showed her a truth that brought her to the point of complete surrender.

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~ Riane
May 2010 Journey

“I Never Could Have Imagined”

During my personal interview with Mr. Gothard at the start of the Journey, he asked me, “On a scale 1 -10 (10 being the strongest) how would you rate your relationship with God?”

I replied, “It would be a 1.”

My life was a mess ... but I determined that I wanted to find God on this Journey.On the outside, I looked like a pretty nice Christian young man who had a fairly good life. On the inside, I was headed down a path leading to destruction. My life was a total mess. I had a lot of bitterness towards my parents and I was filled with anger, malice, rage, hatred, lust, immorality, and moral perversions. I believed the lie from Satan that I didn’t need anyone else . . . God or parents.  So it’s safe to say that even though I had said the “sinners prayer” before, my relationship with God was pretty much nonexistent.

To be perfectly honest with you, I really didn’t want to go on the Journey to the Heart. However, it was my dad’s desire that I go, so I submitted and decided to go with an open heart. I also determined that I wanted to find God on this Journey.

Fast forward . . . to Tuesday morning – March 31st

This was the first day at the Northwoods, up in Michigan.  I was lying in my bed doing my quiet time and wrote a simple prayer in my journal.  The prayer went like this:

Dear God,

I want to find you!  Help me to forgive my parents, Lord.  Help me, give me the courage to confess my sins and competing affections out loud to you on this Journey!  Thank you Jesus for making it possible for me to come on this Journey.  Bless the rest of my family today Lord.  In Jesus name I pray.  Amen

I want to share a verse with you that is found in Jeremiah 29:13: “And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.” This verse is so true. Literally one hour later the Holy Spirit came upon me in a way that I have never experienced before and I just broke.  I was on my knees/face weeping before the Lord confessing every sin that I could think of out loud to God and to my other teammates. I confessed my pride, my bitterness, my anger, my lust, my immorality, everything I could think of I confessed to God.  I told God that I forgave my parents for the hurts they caused me.

I began rebuking Satan.  I told him that I didn’t want him in my life anymore and commanded him to flee.  Then I asked God to fill me with His Spirit.  Our team spent two hours of praying and confessing hidden sins to God and to one another.  I can tell you I felt a lot better after praying this prayer.  This all happened on Tuesday and it took me until Wednesday sometime to realize that God had answered every single line of that prayer that I had written down in my journal that morning.

Wednesday – April 1st

Wednesday was a day of discussing how to get rid of the hidden sins and secret lusts (competing affections) that hinder us from fully loving God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength.  Earlier in the week we had heard the phrase:  “The power of sin is in its secrecy.”  This means that once a sin is exposed, confessed, and repented of, the sin has no more power over you.  This is why it is crucial when we confess our sins that we confess every detail of the particular sin so that Satan has nothing to fall back on. It is like when someone goes into surgery for cancer and the doctors performing the surgery must make sure they cut off every part of that tumor. Otherwise, what happens?  The tumor grows back.

Our leader, Chad, told us if there was anything we needed to confess to our parents that would be hindering our walk with the Lord, and hindering the one accord between the group, he would make it possible for us to use the phones over at the main lodge.  God had convicted me of a particular sin that I had been struggling with that I needed to confess and ask for forgiveness.

After dinner, we went over to the main lodge and I called my dad.  He wasn’t there.  I left him a message saying I had accepted Christ as my Savior and that I needed to talk to him so I would either call them back later or to just keep me accountable and ask me when I get home.  Later that night, I called again and this time I got a chance to talk with my dad and my mom.  At first I only confessed it to my dad, but I eventually decided that I needed to confess it to my mom as well.  After confessing it to both my parents and asking for their forgiveness they both said they forgave me. I am on a quest of desiring to fully confess everything to my parents and cleanse my heart of all impurities.

KyleBefore I left, I sent out a massive email asking for prayer that I would:

  1. Go with an open heart
  2. Meet God in supernatural way
  3. Come home loving God more then I ever have before

God answered every single one of those requests! It just goes to show that if we seek God with all our hearts, we will indeed find Him.  If we seek Him, He will make Himself known to us in ways we could have never imagined.

~ Kyle
March 2009 Journey

Nothing Held Back

SarahThis past week concluded my second Journey to the Heart. God met me unexpectedly the first day. I suddenly became aware of what had been holding me back from fully experiencing God’s power! As a young child, I had been rejected/pushed away by my parents, and although they had confessed and repented of this many times, I had harbored a lot of bitterness towards them and many others who had hurt me deeply over the years.

When I was younger, there had also been a struggle between my parents in their marriage, which had caused me to cut off my spirit from them, to build up walls of defense, and to suffer asthma and nightmares from my fears. I had sought acceptance in other people and possessions, which had caused me to not only lack the trust I needed for my parents, but to hold back from fully trusting God.

The Breaking Point

The Word of GodAs this realization dawned upon me, I broke down and wept on the floor where we had all knelt to pray in groups of 3 or 4. My team leader, sensing that God was doing a work in my heart, led me away to talk in private. Over the course of the next 2 hours, she helped me identify 30 lies I believed, 20 painful memories I was suffering from, and 5 different fears that were affecting my health.

That day my eyes were opened to the bondage that I had been in for so many years. I experienced a new freedom as I prayed asking God to take back the ground I had surrendered. I was able to fully forgive my offenders and to develop a new love for them, and a desire to serve and bless them!

Dying Leaves are More Beautiful

Sarah's TeamThis amazing event set the stage for the rest of my Journey! I found that my heart was open to examination as I studied the different heart conditions. I was able to pray for others with a whole new love for them! I saw God use me to encourage and disciple many other girls throughout the time there, and to cry out to Him without fear of what others would think. There was a whole new awareness of His promptings, and the ability to hear His voice like never before! Most of all, I learned to understand the pain of others who were in similar bondage to what I had been in.

God showed me how to understand the hurts of another and to care for them! He broke me one night as I was spending time alone with Him under the stars. I wept for a girl I had known who was experiencing much more than I had ever experienced, but was held by the chains I had been in.

Autumn leavesThroughout the week, as I observed the beauty of the colorful leaves on the trees, I was reminded continually by our team leader that the leaves were beautiful, yet they were dying! I saw that just as dying leaves are more beautiful than those that are alive, so we as believers are required to die to self and to be on fire for the Lord, in order to achieve the greatest beauty.
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How Freedom From Stress Brought Healing

RachelRachel had a serious car accident thirteen years ago. Her skull and cheekbone were crushed and a hundred pieces of glass were embedded in her head. This caused her to suffer many headaches. However, four years ago, she experienced a traumatic event in her marriage, and since then she has had a splitting headache every single day!

During the hour of prayer on Thursday evening of the Mother’s Journey to the Heart, she discovered a cause—a root of bitterness toward her husband. She confessed it to God and her husband and asked God to deliver her from all of its consequences.

The next morning she woke up without a headache. This was incredible! She felt her head to see if it was really true. All that day there was no headache. However, she was afraid to tell anyone, because she thought it might return. Sunday morning she again woke up wRachel shares her testimonyith no headache! She realized that God had healed her. Her joy was inexpressible!

Rachel’s enthusiasm and excitement grew as she told everyone about her healing. A week later her husband affirmed that no headache had occurred since that day!