Living the Journey

The first evening of my Journey, I sat down with my Bible to read.  For the past few months, I had been reading a couple of chapters from Psalms each day and highlighting a verse or passage that stuck out to me.

The Psalm for that day was number 49, and God knew that was exactly the chapter that I needed to read.  I had been convicted a few months ago that the thing hindering me from having a “ten” rating in my relationship with God was fear, especially the fear that my brothers might follow in my cousin’s footsteps and make similar mistakes, and thereby sacrifice the wonderful God-given potential that they could otherwise have had in God’s service. Because of that fear, I found myself reacting harshly to my brothers and having a very difficult time loving them as my Lord desired me to. I had surrendered my fears to God and given my brothers to Him in prayer a number of times before, but it was still laying as a heavy burden on my heart.

As I began reading, it was as if I had been reading it for the first time. Portions of the chapter seem to leap off of the page and my eyes filled with tears. “Wherefore should I fear in the days of evil…?,” Psalm 49 said, “None of them can by any means redeem his brother, nor give to God a ransom for him: (For the redemption of their soul is precious, and it ceaseth for ever:) … But God will redeem my soul from the power of the grave: for he shall receive me. Selah.  Be not thou afraid…”

After this new reminder that He was so lovingly looking over those who are so dear to me, I could again freely surrender all of my fears to Him, and trust Him with the future, because I know that He has a bigger purpose in mind than what I can see, and that He will work all things together for good!!

Since coming home, although at times it is still a struggle, I have had a greater freedom to love my brothers and treat them in a Christ-like manner.  I am truly thankful to God for each one of the eight younger brothers that He has blessed me with, and, through God’s grace, I am looking forward to continuing to improve my relationship with each one of them!

I am so very thankful to God for allowing me to have the privilege of going on my Journey to the Heart!!

~  Sarah, II Timothy 2:20-21
June 2008 Girls Journey

4 Comments »

As I came away from this Journey to the Heart, I was a little worried. I didn’t feel a whole lot different than when I had gone.  Had I just wasted a week and a half of my life?  Was I really too far gone to be responsive to the Lord?  Sure, I had asked for anointing, but was that because everyone else was doing it?  But now, two days after coming home, I do indeed see what God has done in me.

First, God healed my thought life.  I hadn’t noticed the change, because I simply wasn’t thinking the thoughts I had been struggling with.  They had disappeared so completely that I forgot that they even existed in the first place.

Second, a desire to meditate and study came over me, and a sense of the futility of the pleasures of this world.  The company I work for hosts a picnic with all sorts of games every July.  But this year, as I wandered around, I felt the emptiness of it all.  I felt extremely bored and wished I had brought my Bible so I could study it.

Third, I am really excited about the work of God and His people.  I want to get involved in an even deeper way than before.  I want to have good Christian fellowship every day.  I enjoy discussing God’s Word and His Work with fellow believers.

I wish that all of my friends would go on a Journey.  I am eager to go again and see how much deeper I can dive into God’s Word.  But in the mean while, I will keep meditating.  This Journey was a springboard for me, and I intend to keep growing.

~ Allen
July 2008 Guys’ Journey

4 Comments »

A Painful Memory

In December 1964, after completing nine and a half months of service in Vietnam, I arrived at Travis Air Force Base in Bolero, CA. It was Christmas Eve, and I was anxious see my wife and be home for Christmas.

As I left the base to catch a bus, a group of war protesters threw rotten fruit and eggs at us, calling us baby-killers. I wanted to break their heads but was restrained by the military police. I was deeply crushed because there seemed to be no appreciation back at home for the soldiers who were sacrificing their lives for their country. This caused me to become very bitter.

An Explosion of Anger

In 1971 in Globe, AZ, I was driving up a narrow street on a steep hill when I was met by someone in another vehicle on my side of the road. The road was too steep to back up so he began to curse me and give naughty waves.

In anger, I got out of my truck and walked up to his car. He quickly locked the doors and rolled up the windows. I grabbed the door handle and pulled it right off the car. My next thought was to smash the window with the handle, break his head with it, and then drag him out through the window. I could see the terror in his eyes.

But in that instant, God spoke to my heart and told me to stop. Somehow, I controlled my anger, apologized, and got back in my truck. After that incident, I realized I had a serious problem with anger. Yet instead of properly dealing with it, I only sank deeper into my bitterness, anger, and depression, fighting suicidal and violent thoughts.

Freedom from Bitterness

Early in 1975, I attended the Institute in Basic Youth Conflicts Seminar in Fort Worth, TX after hearing the testimony of an alumnus. Mr. Bill Gothard talked about one area in which I knew I needed tremendous help—overcoming bitterness.

Through the teachings about Jesus Christ and His power to reconstruct lives, I was able to overcome bitterness and forgive the offensive war protesters, as well as a nation who I felt had betrayed all Vietnam War veterans. There is now healing instead of hurt.

4 Comments »

It is so vital to stay in the Word daily and to meditate on Scripture…not just read, but meditate. I’ve been talking to my dad a lot and he’s been keeping me accountable. It is amazing how much freedom one gains when they surrender areas of their life that they do not want anyone to know about. Those secret sins are what keep people in bondage. Even those who are Christians who do not surrender to authority will remain in bondage to sin.

I’ve grown up in ATI and have heard the message spoken about how important it is to surrender to your authorities on several occasions, but refused to let the Lord use it in my life. I thought I could make it through on my own without my parents. I always told myself, “It’s just me and God…just trust in Him.” Satan wanted me to believe I was all alone and that I should not trust the authority of my parents because it would make me look like a horrible sinner, which is exactly what I am anyway. Satan had me believing that I could break the habits on my own. I truly thought I could separate myself from my sin without assistance, yet the whole time I was falling deeper and deeper into more sin.

But I forgot the rest of the puzzle that God commands of us, so no matter what I did or said the sin weighed even more heavily on my soul. The last piece is complete surrender to Godly authority. In Romans 6 Paul said, “What shall we say then, shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? God forbid. How shall we that are dead to sin live any longer therein?” I understood this with my mind, but not in my heart, and therefore could not apply it to my life. But now, in freedom from sin because I am under the authority of my parents, I have the freedom to live in the grace that God provided.

~ Drew
June 2008 Guys Journey

3 Comments »

Since the Journey to the Heart, the Lord has taken me on a roller coaster through the desert. Although I confessed many things, and wanted to seek the Lord, my heart still felt dark and dry at times.

Before I went on the Journey I was addicted to worldly music. Whenever I would write or listen to a sensual song, thoughts and feelings would arise that were not honoring to God.

I was in the middle of recording one of my “not so wrong” songs when I received a call from Mr. Gothard’s office – they wanted me to help on an upcoming Journey! Even though my parents and others encouraged me to go, I knew I shouldn’t because of this unresolved issue. Due to procrastination I was not able to go on the Journey, but still had the chance to meet with Mr. Gothard. After discussing the situation, he challenged me to come to Headquarters and be cleansed by listening to the Word all day while serving on the lawn crew. With my parents approval, I started the month long trek.

It has been one of the best experiences of my life! Through various circumstances, testimonies and daily immersion in the Word, I came to the point of making a vow. After talking it over with my father, Mr. Gothard, and several others I stepped out on God and made the vow. “I will not willfully listen, perform or rehearse in my mind music that is worldly, sensual or not glorifying to God.”

By God’s grace this vow will glorify and honor Him. Another path leads from here, and where it leads I know not. But this one thing I do know – the Lord has lifted another burden from my shoulders and I will continue this journey with joy.

~ Tim
June 2008 Guys’ Journey

4 Comments »

” My life-long journey of seeking to know God started last year when I dedicated my life to Christ while I was on the “Journey to the Heart”. Since then, although I have found that it isn’t an easy journey…but I have found it to be the most rewarding and exciting journey ever! I’ve found this journey to be an uphill climb, full of challenges as “rocks and roots” seem to spring out of nowhere, trying to trap me into believing lies and fill me with discouragement, ultimately, trying to make me fall and give up. I truly believe that the last thing Satan wants is to see us living victorious lives and finishing well. I also believe that he is going to try everything in his power to stop us.

When I signed up to go on the “Journey to the Heart”, I knew little of how God would use it in my life. Up until that point, I truly thought that I was a Christian, because I had grown up in a Christian family and I had said the sinners prayer when I was 3 years old. Despite that, I did not have a personal relationship with God. Everything I said and did was out of tradition and what was expected of me. It was during my “Journey to the Heart”, that God showed me who He was and little by little tore down the walls I had built up around my heart. Throughout my life, due to some difficult circumstances I had always thought that I wasn’t a sinner.

Instead, I would look at the crimes others had committed against me and say “those are the sinners… me?… are you kidding!” It wasn’t until I forgave the people who had hurt me that God showed me I was a sinner in need of His forgiveness. While on my Journey, I fully surrendered and dedicated my life to Christ. As a result, I now have a personal relationship with God and since then, He has shown me that my life purpose is to know Him and to make Him known!

It saddens me to think of all the years that I have wasted and all the
things God had to bring me through to reach this point. Despite that, I know that He has a plan and purpose for everything! “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

It is difficult for me to put in a few paragraphs all the things God has done in my heart and in my life since I was dropped off at the airport to return home. When I was dropped off at the airport I was very scared not knowing what to expect and not knowing what awaited me when I walked off the plane. To make me feel even more uncomfortable… the man sitting beside me on the plane was viewing pornography on his Blackberry. Despite that, God overflowed me with peace beyond understanding and I could literally feel a huge bubble of protection circle around me. God surrounded and spoke words of comfort, hope, peace and love to me. It was when I gave Him all my concerns, fears and worries that I realized without any doubt that He was sending me where I needed to be most of all!

The next morning after returning home… my dad woke everyone (even the baby) up at 5:30 am for a family Wisdom Search. This was the first time we had devotions in many, many years. Surprisingly, since that morning nine months ago, this has continued on, on a consistent basis. I am in awe! To God be the glory and praise! When I was younger and we did family devotions and went to church I would be very angry because of the level of hypocrisy and the thick masks that we would put on in front of ourselves and others. There was nothing real about us. We were one family at home and a completely different picture perfect family at church. It literally tore me to pieces and taught me to live a life of pretending.

At Headquarters God literally tore off every single mask I was wearing. He showed me that because He is REAL, I have the freedom to be real and allow others to see who I really am. Now as a person who is wholly and holy committed to God, I no longer need to hide and pretend. I am alive!

A few months ago I was asked to speak at a ladies outreach ministry. After much prayer, I felt God was calling me to share my testimony and some of the pain and struggles I have dealt with. While I was speaking not only did I see people sitting on the edge of their chairs, I saw wounded hearts needy of God’s healing and forgiveness. As a result of that opportunity, I have had the joy of seeing God touch and open the hearts of many woman.

Since then I have been asked to be the main speaker at a young girls camp this summer. I feel so inadequate… but in that inadequacy I believe God has called me to be “a prophet unto nations” (Jeremiah 1: 4-10)…“for such a time as this!” (Esther 4:14).
In the meantime, I have started training as a receptionist for my father’s
office. My father has previously hurt me in the past and this is the hardest
thing I have ever done! Yet despite that, I have never felt more strongly
that this is what I am supposed to be doing. God has clearly shown me that He wants me to dedicate this next year to serve and bless my father,
honoring him for who he is as a God given authority figure in my life. Since
I have started to work in his office, I have had this overwhelming burden to pray for my father as I work. Over the past month, as I have done this,
there have been several times my father has stopped in the middle of our
Wisdom Search’s to confess and to ask forgiveness for different things.
Although the emotional pain due to the things that have happened in the past is still very great, I know God has done a miracle in my heart and is
healing it. Right now I am learning to relate to my earthly dad through God, instead of relating to God through my earthly dad.
I am traveling on the road less traveled, which makes my journey long and
steep. Despite that, I can whole heartily say with the hymn writer “It will
be worth it all when we see Christ!” The Lord is my strength and my
sufficiency!

“He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might
he increaseth strength. Even the youth shall faint and be weary, and the
young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew
their strength; they shall mount up on wings as eagles, they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:29-31)

It is my desire is to live a life that is so radically different from others, that I will be able to make an eternal difference in the lives of every single person I meet! This can only be done by living in the reality of my life purpose, to know Him and make Him known! I want to praise and thank the Lord for the work He is doing and has done in my life. He has rescued and redeemed me from a pit and has put my feet on a rock! “The Lord is good and only does good! Blessed be the name of the Lord!”

~Jessica
September 2007 Journey to the Heart

Leave a Comment »