Jenna had no hope, and nothing to look forward to. Ultimately she reached the point where she had no reason or even desire to stay alive.
What changed? Listen as she shares her story of what God did on her Journey and the change He brought to her life.
~ Jenna
August 2011 Journey
Thank you for praying for this past guys journey! Listen as Barak shares all that the Lord did while they were up in the Northwoods, from the perspective of one leading the Journey.
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~ Barak
October 2011 Journey
I have always been in church, and I could talk about God with anyone, I “knew” how to pray, I sang in the choir, and my dad is on staff at our church, but I was not a Christian. I was a Christian by association, but I really didn’t want to be one at all. So, I tried everything within my power to desensitize myself. I rebelled secretly against my parents and many other authorities. I was doing all kinds of ungodly things. I called myself Christian, but I was not a Christian. People thought that I was a “great kid” but I was just being a hypocrite. I thought I had the world fooled, and I probably did…but I didn’t once fool God.
My dad told me about the Journey and asked if I wanted to go. I agreed to go because I knew that if I didn’t, he would wonder why I didn’t want to get to know God better. I don’t know how I avoided God for so long, but I guess I just acted like He wasn’t really there. When the plane took off and we were airborne, I thought, “What would happen to me if this plane ran into the ground right now?” I was genuinely concerned about my life at that point.
When I got to the Headquarters, I started thinking, “Whoa, this is actually real, God is really here.” I was very, very unsure about my salvation, and this was one of the few times that I had really taken some time to think about it. On Monday we got to the Northwoods, and God immediately started to burden my heart. I was pretty miserable the whole day until Monday night, when I became so miserable of my depraved state that I called my parents and told them that I was undoubtedly unsaved and that I needed to be saved. I cried to the Lord Monday night, May 16, 2011 and He saved me…a new creature in Christ. I am forever changed and destined to be with my Savior Jesus Christ.
The Lord started convicting me about past offenses to others and about my rebellion against my parents, and I started confessing. But on Tuesday (the next day), I still was holding on to one thing that I just wouldn’t confess to my parents. I was believing Satan’s lie that I didn’t have to tell anyone about it because “what harm would it do?” In reality, it was greatly affecting the Holy Spirit, and I knew it so I told my parents that afternoon. After I got it out of my hands and into the hands of Christ, I was overflowing with joy in my heart. That night at around seven, I think, we (my team) started praying in our meeting room, and soon it was my turn to pray. Before I started praying I was already crying, but it was tears of joy that were flowing. I knew that my name was written in the Book of Life, and that the One who made me, made the earth, made gravity, made the air that I breath, and made my parents. He gave me the kind of parents that I needed. He cared enough about me out of billions of people and showed me His Love, and comforted me, and died for me. He bought me after I sold myself to the devil and the world, gave me His peace, showed me His power, protected me, fed me, clothed me, and gave me a Book that I can read that tells me more about Himself and who He is. He gave me the liberty to tell others about Him so that they can experience Him also. I knew that this wasn’t even the beginning too. So, after much crying and praising Him, I sat back up and looked at the clock, and if I remember right, it was ten o clock. I had prayed the longest I had ever even attempted to pray, and for the first time, I didn’t even care about how long it took.
The Lord showed me so much that week even after those two days. I was being fed by His Words all week and I couldn’t get enough. He showed me that I don’t have to rely on myself in my struggles, because He has already won the race, all I have to do is claim the victory through Him. “Lean not unto thine own understanding, in all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths”, “Nay, in all things we are made more than conquerors through Him that loved us…”, “the name of the Lord is a strong tower, the righteous runneth to it, and are safe” He is my strong tower, I can call on Him and He will answer, I can run to Him and be safe, I don’t have to rely on myself because He said that He would direct me, I am more than a conqueror, but only through Him that has already conquered. “Abide in Me, and I in you, as the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in Me. I am the vine, and ye are the branches, He that abideth in Me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without Me ye can do nothing.” I am living proof of that principle.
When I got home, I talked to one of my best friends and asked him to forgive me for being a hypocrite and not living the way Christ did. I told him what had happened to me, and he was so amazed at how much I had changed that he wanted to get saved!! I got to lead him to Christ and he is a new creature. After about a week, my other friend came to Christ! And just this week, two of my other friends got saved too! God is so good. He has shown me in my life that when I am completely sold out to him and I don’t care about what other people think, He can really use me. In truth and honesty before Him and others, there is power because the Holy Spirit can move about freely.
Other things are being revealed as I abide in Him and meditate on His gift to me, the Word. I am learning things from the wisdom and failures of others and myself, but the best way to learn is to read God’s living Word, the Bible. If I listen to what God has to say and obey, I don’t have to learn the hard way. The way of a believer is intense and hard, but made easy through obedience. It is better to obey than to sacrifice, because if I am obeying, then I will probably be sacrificing too. If there was one thing I could say to anyone for the rest of my life it would be to know God, love Him and seek Him, and see what happens.
- Josh Hoyle
If you’ve ever doubted or wondered whether or not God really watches over His children, I urge you to read on. You see, throughout my life I have struggled with that exact doubt and fear (along with countless others). Amazingly, this June at Journey to the Heart God revealed several truths to me that I would like to pass along.
To truly understand just what God has done in my life, you need to have an understanding of my past. My story begins with my Grandmother. Unlike most, my Grandmother was emotionally abusive. Satan worked through her to place some very damaging lies in my mind as a young child. I grew up believing in the back of my head that I wasn’t good or honest, and over the years these lies reinforced through some very painful and unfortunate situations. As I result, I faced many difficult challenges and made bad choice after bad choice. It’s amazing how self-destructive a person can become when they truly believe they are worthless and genuinely “bad”.
But God is faithful and His love can overcome any obstacle. Slowly but surely,
Eddie thought he was a normal guy, a good Christian kid. But everything changed when God revealed a “massive city” in his life that he had never known was there before. Listen as he shares the painful experience God brought him through which led him to complete freedom.
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~ Eddie
May 2011 Journey
When I arrived at Headquarters for the Journey, I had just spent 27 days in PA with my grandfather, who was on hospice, and was getting ready to pass away. Our family had left home March 17th unexpectedly, driven through the night, and spent the previous weeks ministering to my grandparents in my Grandfather’s last weeks of life. I was exhausted, emotionally drained, and I knew in my heart that my walk with God was not where it should be. I had not wanted to go to PA, and spending 3-4 weeks there had not been built into my schedule.
Having been on several journeys previously, I had learned not to tell God what he needed to do in my life, but rather, to ask Him what needed to be done according to His plan for my life. However, there was one thing I wanted from God on this journey, and that was to find out what He required of me in the area of my personal standards. I am nineteen years old, and I had come to the place of realizing that in the years to come, I would be held accountable for my choices in life. What would those choices be?
We drove to the Northwoods on Monday, and Tuesday night I came down with a fever and chills. I was miserable and tired, and still emotionally drained, and I laid in bed that night asking God “why?” I had gotten sick on a journey before, but now it was just me, lying in bed, with no one to talk to but God, and I didn’t feel like we were really getting along at the moment. In the past months, I had grown by leaps and bounds in my spiritual walk, but my wrong response to living with my grandparents in the last several weeks had not helped our relationship at all. The days crawled by, and I begged God to talk to me. It didn’t seem like I was getting anywhere. I wanted to seek his face, but I didn’t feel like it. Thursday, the day of Delighting in the Lord, came and went. I cried out to God on my walk around the lake, but it seemed like He was silent. I didn’t understand.
I stayed at Headquarters for a few days after the journey, and during those days, I had some time to just seek the Lord alone. I was sitting on my bed one night, and I flipped open my Bible to I Corinthians 9. The chapter was not highlighted, but the title in my Bible read “The necessity of self-denial.” I thought to myself, “This sounds like something I don’t want to read, but need.” I skimmed through it, and when I got to verse 22, it leaped off the page: “I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some… Know ye not that they which run in a race, run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain.” Suddenly, it dawned on me. I had been crying out to God to answer me, but I was not ready for His answer. It was not an answer that was going to feel good, or be easy. It was one that would require self-denial.
My sister and I have a discipleship ministry and we both spend a lot of time talking to other girls about things like honoring their parents, and seeking God’s best. It was not until I read those verses that I understood what surrender was. It is not asking God to give you his best, but only if it fits your personal likes. It is totally throwing yourself on God, and telling him to do whatever it takes, no matter how hard or painful. The time in the Northwoods on the journey prepared me to trust God…to say “Yes Lord” even when it’s hard. I don’t know why God allowed me to get sick, or why He seemed so silent, but I do know what when God seems silent, He is still there. That is the beauty of the Lord. He never leaves. I chose that night to lay aside every “weight” (anything that would slow me down), even if it was contrary to my personal likes and desires. I laid down my preferences of dress, music, friends, activities, books…everything. Because can I win a race with all those things in my arms? No…but the desires that God gives us, He will fulfill. And those that are not from Him, he will take away. I can trust God…you can trust God, because He is faithful, and when it gets hard, He will hold our arms up in battle, and we will be victorious.
“I will freely sacrifice unto thee; I will praise thy name, O Lord, for it is good.” (Ps 54:6)
- Testimony by Hannah Stelzl (Girl’s Journey, April 9th-19th, 2011)
