On the Thursday of my Journey to the Heart we had a day of delighting in the Lord and I went out on the lake in a kayak by myself. I had finally worked up the courage to cry out to God to remove from my heart all of the wrong affections that were there.

It was a dark, dreary day, but at the moment I cried out I truly felt God’s peace quieting my soul. As I looked up, a bald eagle flew right over my head and the clouds parted. Beautiful, golden sunlight fell on me. It was as though God was saying, “My face is shining upon you, I will give you peace, I will give you the grace to overcome this.” And for the rest of the time that I was on the lake, I was underneath the sun whenever the clouds parted. A beautiful blue sky guided me back to shore.

I vowed to God that I would never play a video game again, listen to rock music, or look at pornography. It was so freeing! Even though I’ve already had a great love for the hymns of the faith, God has increased it much more. When we were singing them on the way to the Northwoods and together as a group they sounded so beautiful to me.

When we had the hour of prayer on Thursday, myself and the other two guys with whom I was praying ended up praying for three hours. To me, it felt like maybe half an hour at the most!!! Near the end, I felt as though  it was just God and I, Him looking down on me with His pleasure.

Throughout the week, as God revealed things I had between members of my family and myself, I called them, and felt load after load being lifted from my shoulders. I called my father, and asked his forgiveness for leaving him out of my life, and I told him I truly wanted a closer relationship with him. I asked both him and my mother forgiveness for having a bitter spirit toward them, my brother for having a prideful attitude toward him.

And come Saturday night, when we were all praying together, I sensed God’s presence in a way I never imagined possible! I praise God for every single one who let God have His way that night!

I was impressed with the need to do whatever it takes to go all out for God, nothing held back. When we truly have that desire to do so, God will open doors before us and show us things we never imagined possible! (See Romans 11:33; 2 Peter 1:4.) When we truly seek His face, we WILL hear His still small voice leading and guiding us (Psalm 43:3; Isaiah 30:21).

It was that Saturday night that God really and truly broke me of my pride, and showed me that without Him I can do nothing, that through Him I am who I am, and when I labor, it is not in vain! (See 1 Corinthians 15:10, 58.) Through His strength in us we can bear fruit! (See John 15:8; Galatians 6:9.) Praise God!

When I saw others pouring out their hearts out to God and crying, I couldn’t help crying out with them (my spiritual gift is mercy, as well as servant). It was at that moment that we all knew in our hearts that God had truly knit us all together. We all exchanged long, tearful hugs, and gathered outside on the lobby balcony, talking about how awesome it was to feel God’s presence moving SO powerfull!! In Andrew’s words, “It was amazing to see all these guys choosing prayer over food for a time.” Yes it was, Andrew, for our true food is to do the will of our Father! (See John 4:34.)

It was SO incredibly awesome to see all of us to go from casual acquaintances to close, one-accord friendships with each other, and ultimately, with God, as the week progressed! Friendships built on mutual trust and a common goal of gaining a powerful, intimate walk with God! It was so humbling to see all these young guys putting their all on the altar, confessing their faults to each other!

Jonathan

At the beginning of the Journey, the radiant faces, the enthusiasm, the deeper spirituality, all of it seemed a bit foreign to me, and I had a jealousy and resentment. I felt like, “How can they be that way? What am I missing?” By the end of the Journey my resentment had turned into rejoicing along with them in the majesty, glory, honor and power and infinite wisdom and power of God’s never-ending love!

I cannot live without Him.

~ Jonathan
July 2009 Guys Journey

When I survey the wondrous cross
on which the prince of glory died,
my richest gain I count but loss,
and pour contempt on all my pride.

    This entry was posted on Thursday, September 24th, 2009 at 11:55 pm and is filed under Journey Testimonies. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.