Living the Journey

Last Thursday, we read about accepting our unchangeables. Here is the fourth key in conquering the fear of rejection.

4. Greet Everyone Enthusiastically.

One of the most powerful steps to take in conquering the fear of rejection is learning how to greet people with as much enthusiasm and warmth as if you were greeting a long-lost friend. When you first make eye contact with another person, they will instantly discern whether or not you are happy to see them or not. If you give them an enthusiastic smile and greeting they will be surprised at your warmth, and tend to respond to you in the same way. However, if you have no expression on your face when you make eye contact with them, they will assume that you reject them and, therefore, they will reject you.

Jesus warns us that if we greet only our friends enthusiastically, and not strangers, we are no better than the publicans, because they do the same. Remember what He tells us: God gives His rain and sunshine equally to the just and to the unjust. (See Matthew 5:45.) He does not discriminate in such matters; why should we?

Read Robert’s post How to Give a Perfect Greeting for a more in-depth look at this aspect of overcoming the fear of Rejection.

Next Thursday in Key #5 of How to Conquer the Fear of Rejection, we will look at seven valuable gifts we can give to those around us that won’t cost us anything! (UPDATE: Oops, I guess it turned out that there were six gifts that didn’t cost anything. The seventh was money.)

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“As I finished reading Pavilions of Protection, I saw myself in one of the paragraphs. A year ago, I was out from under the authority of my parents. I was so out of control that my father felt it necessary to keep me by his side at all times.

“I had placed my mind, will, and emotions above God and, just as was written in the book, I began to doubt the accuracy and validity of Scripture. I also began to question God’s existence. The more I sought answers on my own, the more restrictive my parents became and the more disillusioned I became. This led to depression and sleepless nights where I ground my teeth until my jaws ached.

“As a result of this independent spirit, I developed just about ever fear you could think of. Fear of rejection was my primary fear which was accompanied by a series of others including fear of abandonment, fear of future, fear of the world’s opinions, and fear of public speaking. I realized that Christian teenagers today who are out form under their parent’s authority are giving God a bad reputation and profaning the Name of the Lord. This saddened me as I realized that I did that very same thing.

“God used Journey to the Heart to draw me to Himself and change my heart. I asked the Lord to come into my heart and cleanse me. I then surrendered myself to Him and placed myself back under the protection of my God-given authorities. I felt like a literal burden had fallen off of me. I felt free to worship the Lord and be open with my parents!”

~ Hannah
June 2008 Journey

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The largest Journey to the Heart we’ve ever had took off for the Northwoods this morning! Before departing, Mr. Gothard shared an exhortation to seek the Lord from Psalm 25. Pray that God would show more of Himself to each young lady on this Journey as they learn the fear of the Lord this week.

“The secret of the LORD is with them that fear him; and he will show them his covenant” (Psalm 25:14).

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Throughout the week of seeking the Lord, the cry of Joshua’s heart was, “Lord, I don’t want to go back to the way that I was. Give me a passion for you.” In the following testimony, he shares what God did on his Journey to the Heart that made it a life-changing experience.

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~ Joshua
July 2009 Guys Journey

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Last week we looked at not comparing ourselves with others.  Following is the third of seven Biblical points which can help resolve the fear of rejection.

3. Accept Your Unchangeables.

Instead of becoming bitter over her childhood blindness, Fanny Crosby used it as a motivation to write beautiful hymns

If we do not accept how God designed us, how can we expect others to accept us? Other people can quickly sense when we feel self-conscious about our basic appearance, our intellectual capabilities, our national origin, or other God-given unchangeables. They will especially notice how we respond to a physical defect or scar.

Before we were formed in the womb, God designed us in His mind and He ordained us to proclaim of His truth to nations. (See Jeremiah 1:5 and Matthew 28:19-20.) By thanking God for the way He designed us, and by viewing our “defects” as “marks of ownership,” we will be able to remove this root cause of the fear of rejection.

God has designed us to honor Him in all things.  Remember the blind man who was born blind, not because he or his parents had sinned, but “that the works of God should be made manifest in him” (John 9:3b).  Think how God can use your unchangeables to bring Him glory.

It is true that God has given us some unchangeables, and we are to thank Him for those. However, we must also be aware of changeable features which we must correct. If we dress with sloppy clothing, we are saying to people, “This is how I feel about myself.” If we dress appropriately, we are saying, “I belong to God, and I want to honor the way He designed me.” The same is true of the way we keep our hair. A woman’s long hair is her glory. (See I Corinthians 11:15.) The way she takes care of her hair speaks greatly to other people. Being grossly overweight is another important changeable. Obesity is a matter of food intake and may also be triggered by hormonal imbalances from stress such as bitterness, guilt, etc.

In closing, remember a statement David made that is true for all of us: “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!” (Psalm 139:14-17).

Stay tuned next week for Key #4.

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