Living the Journey

I was raised in a Christian household. I have six younger siblings and was home-schooled all the way through high school. I had made many “say the prayer and you’re saved” kind of commitments to Christ but I always ended up doubting them. I was never sure of where I’d end up after I died or if I was really one of God’s children. I made a semi-solid profession of faith when I was 13 and was baptized at 14. One of my grandfathers died that same year. I was very close with Pawpaw and I couldn’t understand how a loving God could take away something and someone I held so dear if He really loved me. I began to fall away from the Christian faith.

I abandoned my family’s Christian beliefs for a variety of other religious beliefs. I took bits and pieces of Catholic, Islamic, and New Age mindsets. Through those contrasting beliefs my mama and  I began to have conflicts. I didn’t realize it at the time but I began to hate her. We would get into huge arguments  about simple things and Biblical issues. She stayed very true to the Word of God and what she believed God told her was His will, while I went by feelings and anti-Christian beliefs.

Through a turn of events and an out-of-state move, I began to be drawn back to Christ. I still didn’t live to God’s highest standards but I was turning to Him more and more. I felt that I was right with God but I wasn’t asking God if I was; I was still going by feelings. I didn’t want to give everything to God. “Otherwise,” I thought, “what would I be in charge of?”

I was making arrangements to move out on my own when one of my friends e-mailed my mom and said that I had been on her heart and she wanted to know if I would be interested in going to the Journey to the Heart retreat coming up in June. I knew we couldn’t afford it and the timing was off, in my opinion. It was 4 days after I was supposed to have been moved out. This just wasn’t going to work. They offered the possibility of a partial scholarship for me if I was interested in going.

After a few days of thinking it through, Mama asked me if I wanted to go. She asked that if money or timing wasn’t an issue at all, would I be interested in going. I told her yes, that I would go as that would be God saying it was His will. She then informed me that there wasn’t only a partial scholarship, but a full one available to me. All my parents had to do was get me there. I was shocked. I knew then that God wanted me to put moving out on hold for a while. It was His plan and He’d made it possible. I just needed to follow His leading.

I knew this was what God was telling me to do. I immediately applied but I was still skeptical. I couldn’t believe I was as excited as I was when they let me know I was accepted. My “crew” of friends were all supportive of me, though I could read the unsaid, “Good luck fittin’ in there, girl!” in their faces.  I was going over with one of my friends what I’d be doing. She and I were laughing about the idea of me in a suit much less a skirt. When we ended our conversation she told me “Good luck! Don’t kill too many!” I laughed. I couldn’t help wondering what was waiting up ahead for me through this.

Daddy drove me down to Chicago Saturday June 6th.  I had such an awesome time, more than I ever thought possible. I bonded to each of my team and they bonded to me. We were and still are family to each other. I miss them so much and hated leaving them to go back to my family’s home. I got to go on long walks and prayed more than I think I’ve ever prayed in my entire life… and I loved it!! I saw girls healed and prayers answered right before my very eyes. I learned to be a ‘fisher’ of men. I’m not embarrassed to approach people about God and His good news. I made lifetime friends.

I’m now best friends with my mom. She and I haven’t gotten into a single argument since I’ve been home. She and I’ve been able to talk about spiritual things as well as little things that used to make me blow up. That’s a miracle; it’s nothing I’ve done. I give all the praise to my amazing and patient Heavenly Father.

I’d do it again in a heartbeat. I’m closer to God more than I’ve ever been. But I still have a long way to go. And this is just the beginning. I can’t wait to see all that God has planned for my life.

~Brittany

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 24th, 2009 at 8:31 am and is filed under Journey Testimonies. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.